Graphical Manipulations #16: Ashby, Slipper, Ashby, Slipper! It All Makes For A Great Festive Read!

Well we’ve finally reached the end of the year 2012 and all and sundry are making preparations for the festive season and the coming of the New Year.  We’re watching the maxing of credit cards, the car park traffic jams, the last minute rush to get that final present and, the purchase of gifts that will be either consumed, complained about, considered just junk, looked upon with bemusement (‘what/who the bejesus do they think I am?’) or considered inadequate.  There’ll be the usual family fights, the excessive consumption of just about everything, the Boxing Day sales, and the long queues at the Return Counters.  Apart from this inevitable amount of collateral damage the festivities will go off predominantly with joy and happiness and be generally well received, or is that well repleted?

Thankfully the politicians have closed down for a bit apart from some harrumphing from Labor about the Ashby/Slipper Business which is being thoroughly under-reported by that Australian bulwark of fairness, equity and impartiality – the mainstream media.  Strangely enough those members of the NO Coalition most vociferous about the A/S B previously are noticeable by their absence – from just about everything!  I wonder whether the judge’s decision had anything to do with their apparent absenteeism from the political sleaze and muckraking?

So as you sit back exhausted and digest that rather large festive meal while looking forward to a few days of relaxation before charging once more into the fray, here’s a bit of suggested reading to keep you amused as you while away the hours.  It’s an exciting trilogy containing just about everything you could wish for – kinky sexual innuendo, tweets that will make your hair curl, subterfuge, nefarious copying of diaries, clandestine meetings, corruption, collusion, plots and counter plots with lots of indignant denial thrown in.  So enjoy:

In which the proponents get together and initiate their ‘tweet’ affair.  Like many such affairs the souring of the relationship, vaulting egos and hidden ambition makes for unhappiness, the quest for revenge and the search for opportunities to ‘do the dirty’. 

In which the conspirators are linked, the ‘dirty’ is determined, the stage set, the conspirators conspire, a Speaker is sworn in (and at) and the plot initiated.

In which the conspirators obfuscate, serious questions are raised in the House, innuendo is innuendoed, scandal is scurrilously scribed, harassment of a sexual nature (plus misuse of privileges) is put before the courts, ‘make it all go away’ money is paid and a judge makes a finding that the conspirators (especially Ashby) find too horrible to contemplate.  Riveting stuff!

 

So enthralling and popular has the initial trilogy been that there are rumours of a sequel (a quadrology perhaps?) in the wind, or quite probably the word processor.

 

In which the conspirators go to ground, the mainstream media pretends nothing happened, social media goes berserk as a consequence, denial reaches fever pitch, Ashby becomes isolated and alone as his surreptitious supporters become unsupportive, Slipper sues, the Labor Party considers a judicial enquiry into the matter, tempers fray and someone says; ‘let’s do it all again in 2013 with someone different!’  There has to be a literary award here somewhere.

 

And so, with the usual ending to these graphical manipulations:  “If there was ever an individual so totally undeserving of high office then that person is, unquestionably, Tony Abbott.  We don’t need a negative, 19^th century trogdolyte as Prime Minister of this country.”  TA not fit 2B PM!

Related articles

• Abbott denies Slipper conspiracy (dailytelegraph.com.au)
• Question so difficult Coalition can’t hear (smh.com.au)
• Abbott ‘should apologise’ over Slipper (bigpondnews.com)
• Abbott must come clean on Slipper case: PM (news.theage.com.au)
• Peter Slipper case dismissed in sequel to Julia Gillard misogyny speech (guardian.co.uk)
• Peter Slipper wins harassment case (news.theage.com.au)
• EYE-BALL Opinion – Roxon joins Gillard as Enemy of the State – The Slipper verdict is Justice denied - (bleyzie.wordpress.com)
• Court clears Australian Speaker (bbc.co.uk)

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