Graphical Manipulations #168: Continuity And Change? Discontinuous Continuity And Exciting Times!


Well you’d have to say that our beloved leader Fraudband Fraudbull was right. It is indeed, an exciting time to be an Australian.  Especially if you are a Lieberal/Neutered Puppy MP in a marginal seat!  You must be so excitedly excited you’re probably wetting yourself with anticipation as your cabinet bravely goes where none have gone before.  A very courageous move indeed Prime Minister!

Before we move on I’d just like to briefly mention that wizard of telecommunications, Telecom, and thank them for their exemplary service with this little acknowledgement.

Intermittent Telstra

We note that Peta Credlin, has a new role with Sky News. We’re looking forward to her coverage of the upcoming election.  Her insight on things political should be illuminating.  Shame that we don’t watch trash news sources, however, in this case we might have to make an exception!  On second thought – nahhhh!

Credlin Sealisms

Nice to see that the second most dull colourless and boring parliamentarian, sorry prime since Warren of the Truss has gone, has let us know that he is willing to step up to the plate should “circumstances arise” requiring him to step up to the plate. Kevin was unforthcoming as to exactly what those “circumstances” might be.

Andrews Challenge Monkeys

It was also noted that the Budget Balance Commission in a rather naive attempt to create an air of bipartisanship between the political protagonists provided a potential solution to the budget dilemma facing the country! Our expectations are not high that this will be happening – ever!

Budget Uhuh Rat

The Bloody Rat’s back eager to engage himself in all the Australian excitement leading up to the possible, maybe, on the cards, well we’re not sure, entirely likely, Double Dissolution. He thought that the state/territory income tax was amusing.

Income Tax Rat

That the offer to Western Australia of infrastructure money had an air about it. Just what that air was it certainly had something of freshness about it, with a strong hint of pork!

Fistfull Dollar Rat

And Rat was also highly amused that Barnaby Joyce was upset that Tony Windsor wanted his seat and felt that he was being type-cast as something he wasn’t!

Mad Joyce Rat

Our Toads were very excited that our great leader had the courage to put forward an exciting proposal that had the strong likelihood of alienating all those parents whose children attend a public school!

School Funding Toads

And we couldn’t go past ex-Prime Minister Wabbott’s magnanimous offer of making himself available for a cabinet position in our beloved leader’s re-elected government whilst sliding the knife deftly in between the third and fourth rib. Bravo Monsieur Wabbott!

Wabbotts Wevenge

With so many exciting things happening, the Panama Papers yet to fully expose the greedy, and the commencement of electioneering for that Double Dissolution that’s an if, but, maybe, definitely, we wondered as to the level of receptiveness the Australian voter might have to the forthcoming electoral campaigning. This seemed appropriate.

Choices

Which led to us to concern about just why we weren’t feeling quite as excited as we should be in these exciting times. A visit to the local “wellness” institute and a few tests gave us the answer!

Grumpiness Meter

And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

AFTERTHOUGHT: If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

 

AFTER-AFTERTHOUGHT: This Lieberal/Neutered Puppy Coalition Government is trashing the good standing of Australia. It cares little about its people in its fanatical pursuit of ultra-conservative ideology. It is using the weapons of minority xenophobia, the secret fears and uncertainty of the general public and blatant propaganda, aided by a complaisant media, to turn this country into something is has never been – bigoted, racist, xenophobic, selfish, self-indulgent, self-obsessed, uncaring and a disgrace to all those things that have made Australia a great country! Tolerance, mateship, community, fairness and equity, honesty and a love of freedom in both speech and expression!

POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

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Graphical Manipulations #167: Continuity And Change? And Other Oxymorons!


Oxymoron: A figure of speech that juxtaposes elements that appear to be contradictory. Oxymorons appear in a variety of contexts, including inadvertent errors (such as “ground pilot”) and literary oxymorons crafted to reveal a paradox.

Well! That’s one explanation I guess. Another could be a figure of speech often concocted by oxygen wasting morons to give the impression that they are unbelievably intelligent and can create figures of speech far beyond the understanding of us mere mortals. Very often such figures are very akin to Three Word Slogans and we are all well versed in their creation and use by our current Government. Well up until recently that is, when things suddenly changed and the then master of the TWS, Tony Rabbott, was unceremoniously dumped for someone well versed in expansive meaningless verbiage, our very own Malcolm Fraudbull!

But more of that later. There are a couple of ancillary antics which need to be considered before we delve into the oxymoron evolution.

There was a general “jumping for joy” or “sobbing and wringing of hands”, depending on your political predilections when the Neutered Puppy Party went from the entirely predictable (and incredibly boring) Warren Truss to the entirely unpredictable (and incredibly wacko) Barnaby Joyce. We knew the party required some serious underpinning, but this was ridiculous!

Truss to Joyce

We’ve also noticed that the Senator of 400 odd primary votes, one Michaelia Cash, has been extremely vociferous (with untruths and inaccuracies liberally applied) in socking it to those naughty unions who, according to her, are about to totally destroy the lives of all and sundry, are (almost) equivalent to the very worst of the Islamic State, and thoroughly deserve being carefully watched over by a powerful committee that can fine the crap out of them should they misbehave! Vulturine, with gallinaceous idiosyncrasies came to mind;

Vulture Chicken Cash

And now – back to oxymoronicity!

It seemed, for a while there, that we had finally moved on from the TWS, and its creator, and entered a strange world where brevity was no longer the soul of wit. Nor anything else for that matter. What had once taken three words to describe now took at least three hundred, or so!  We had entered an exciting time in linguistics where phraseology and eloquence with verbal dexterity were the keys to discourse.  We listened, until the meaningless loquacious drone numbed our brains and sent us into that pre-evolutionary torpor that precedes hibernation.  Success in creating total apathy in Joe Public was almost within the grasp of the Lieberal Party!  They had nearly succeeded, as in Brave New World, of a populace so numbed that they would have voted, without question, for the incumbents.

And then some idiot fucked it!! Yep! We can’t speak more plainly than that!  They let loose the ghosts of Rabbott’s past with a THREE WORD SLOGAN disguised as an oxymoron – “Continuity and Change”!  There are rumours that Tony Rabbott had a hand in this trickery as part of his ultimate revenge on the usurper Fraudbull.  We hasten to distance ourselves from such innuendo!

Once “Continuity and Change” memed its way into the collective consciousness, fertile minds saw the endless opportunities. Especially if a little poetic licence would allow the oxymoronic expression of political ridiculousness!  First off the block was that epitome of monocular wisdom George Christensen and his deeply sexular concern with the Safe Schools Program.  Here’s to you George!

Bigotry Christensen

It was of course our Mal who authorised (we hope) the release of the key oxymoron “Continuity and Change”! And then had to make a 3,000 word apologia for it being a rip-off from some American comedy show about Vice-presidents.

We thought we’d try a few of our own and thought that: “Continuity sans Questions”, “Continuity with Fantasy”, “Continuity with Confusion”, “Continuity with Fraudbullshit”, “Continuity with Incompetence”, “Continuity with Nomenclature”, “Continuity with Conservatism” and, “Continuity with Thuggishness” might be more appropriate. However, in the search for ever more simplification, we settled with;

Continuity Fraudbull

We also felt that this was an opportune time to get the voter to engage “Continuously with Lieberalism” by giving away a few t-shirts.

T Shirt Giveaway

Much to our surprise, while we were engaged with our word craft, who should come forth from the shrubbery and set himself firmly in the lexical gun sight but good old Arfur Sinodinos. The toads got a bit distracted.

Continuity Toads

We also got carried away with; “Continuity with Corruption”, “Continuity with Stupidity”, “Continuity with Duplicity”, “Continuity with Slipperiness”, “Continuity with Brown Paper Bags”, Continuity without Total Recall” and, “Continuity with La Cosa Nostra”. However, we settled for simplicity.

Sinodinos Continuity

Not to be outdone, the Wiley Wabbott provided a 3,706 word essay in Quadrant explaining why he was the greatest Prime Minister (un-reelected) since the illustrious Menzies – Sorry John! And to drive home the point he configured three (that’s THREE) three word slogans into his introductory sentence!  When it comes to TWS’s there is no equal to this man!  The fact that he has gone barking mad and intent on destroying the Lieberals to get to Fraudbull should be overlooked when considering his greatness, and his value to Labor and Bill Shorten.  So here is that unexpurgated sentence for you to look upon with awe and admire Wabbott’s total commitment to his objective.

Uhuh Slogan Rabbott

And how did we see such machinations in terms of oxymoronic description. Like so;

Wacko Wabbotts Wevenge

And if the stumbles, cock-ups, and machinations keep coming over the next 100 odd days there is only one way, oxymoronically, that we can describe the Lieberal election strategy simply. And that’s;

Continuity Buffoon Monkeys

 

And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

AFTERTHOUGHT: If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

AFTER-AFTERTHOUGHT: This Lieberal/Neutered Puppy Coalition Government is trashing the good standing of Australia. It cares little about its people in its fanatical pursuit of ultra-conservative ideology. It is using the weapons of minority xenophobia, the secret fears and uncertainty of the general public and blatant propaganda, aided by a complaisant media, to turn this country into something is has never been – bigoted, racist, xenophobic, selfish, self-indulgent, self-obsessed, uncaring and a disgrace to all those things that have made Australia a great country! Tolerance, mateship, community, fairness and equity, honesty and a love of freedom in both speech and expression!

POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

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Graphical Manipulations #166: 2016! The Year Of The Monkey! And Will The Oz Voters Be Taken For One?


We made the move. We sold the joint.  Invested in a place being built.  We planned the move.  Foresaw the traps, and legworked to smooth out the crap.  It went so sweet, the move and stuff.  And then along came Telstra and Centrelink and generously donated their clusterfucks!  These two incompetents with chaotic glee destroyed all the pleasure for the Menage and Me!

Be appraised you incompetent pricks, the ménage has marked you for the nastiest of tricks. So be not surprised if you feature here, with every opportunity taken to ridicule and smear!  You deserve the best, and we’ll try REAL hard – you rotten shits – we’ve marked your card!!

Apart from the Telstra/Centrelink debacles (Centrelink ongoing I suspect) the holidays gave some respite, and a convenient break, from the hurly burly of the parochiality of Australian politics. Refreshed from their R&R our ménage reminisces of that holiday drowse!

Holiday Sheeple

Of course our political masters took the opportunity to get a few things done while Australia remained in a state of somnolence.

Toad Pollie Holidays

The ex-PM relaxed, licked his wounds, and thought about how he might contribute to governmental excellence in the New Year!

Janus Wrecker Abbott

He also determined that it would be useful to let people know that he was really friendly with a lot of people in the United States of America!

Rabbott Ego Monkey Business

The seal felt he needed to shed some light on the going’s on of the New South Wales politicians now that there has been an electoral redistribution.

Pollie Seats Sealism

That Bloody Rat provided some insight into the vexed issue of same-sex marriage – politically speaking!

Trusty Same Sex Rat

The brave new Prime Minister let it be known that the Lieberals were not like the Labor Party and, for the first time, led some of us to begin to think that Fraudbull might be just a tad out of touch with reality. Still, he’s more popular than that Tony fella, eh?

Uhuh Faction Rat

Our political rat felt it was time to let all you lovely voters know that his one great ambition was to serve.

Rattus Politicus Servants

And our Erudite Rat felt it timely to slip in a quick comment on the issue of career politicians. And suggest how Australian democracy (so-called) might become just a tad more democratic.

Rattus eruditis careerists

 And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

AFTERTHOUGHT: If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

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Seasonal Thingywhatsits!


The rats, toads, monkeys, sheeple, Deknarf, and our itinerant seal wish you;

HYN 16 No names

‘WE’LL BE BACK!!

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Graphical Manipulations #165: You Close Your Eyes, And Realise. 2015’s Not Been A Pretty Sight!


As was predicted a week or so ago exhaustion has overtaken the contributory animalia and they’ve decided that a bit of a rest might help to revitalise their jaded wits! There was a momentary fear that the demise of the Rabbott might result in a dearth of political stupidity, but thankfully that was not to be.  So along with the pollies a decision has been made to take a holiday break – unless of course, the regenerative festive season including the imbibition of alcoholic beverages, as well as notable political irrationality, stirs the “take the mickey genes”!  So, in review we might say;

Joe (Eleventy) Hockey may have been boasting of longevity in January but it certainly had little reference to him.

Longevity Hockey Jan

In February Eric Abetz showed us all that his brain, and the process of logical thinking, had parted ways when he was about 17. There is, however, some dispute that it was ever there in the first place.

Irrefutable Logic Abetz Feb

Our new Prime Minister Fraudbull, back in March, was assuring us that the bosom of the party was nurturing Tony Rabbott 100 per cent. Somehow I suspect that the Lieberal mother’s milk had something more than just protein in it.

Brutus Turnbull Mar

In April it seemed that the only one in charge of just about anything was the Speaker of the House, our Bronny. No-one foresaw that the winds of helicopter blades would savagely disturb her elegant coiffure!

Wildcat sans Tigers Apr

By about May most of the thinking populace had become inured to the congenital disease of the politician, the ability to lie while standing up and looking wide awake and marginally intelligent!

Political Liar Rat May

In June our Eruditis Rat reach the point where he was of the view that it couldn’t get any worse in the stupidity department. Sadly he was to be proven gravely out of touch with reality!

Stupidity Eruditis Rat Jun

In July Bronny Bishop’s worst fears were confirmed when the “thock, thock, thock” of the chopper blades played havoc with her coveted position. Didn’t stop her liberating more of the political largesse though.

Speakers Greed Creed Jul

And the political situation was looking pretty tricky there in August with a general nervousness and secretive mutterings permeating the House on the Hill.

Jumping Sheep Aug

By September the Prime Winky Dill was becoming concerned that all was not well and that a quick prayer to the Almighty might put it right. He was not to know that September 14 would be his “day of infamy”.  “Infamy!  Infamy!  The majority has it infamy!!”

Prayerful Tony 2 Sep

October saw a new Prime Ministerial face but the Lieberals still in the same old policy place and there seemed to be lots of “love in the air”, apparently!

Turnbull Lurve Rat Oct

And November bought the awful realisation to the Australian populace that whilst they had rid themselves of a Prime Ministerial crazy and a Treasurer who thought that division by eleventy made everything balance fiscally, they had just given rise to a government where smug was the order of the day.

Turnbull Morrisson Smuggery Nov

And December? Apart from the promise of festive debauchery and a New Year hopefully better than the last, provided us with an ex-Prime Minister driven delusional by the feeling that he’d been robbed, take a leaf from Kev Rudd’s latest booklet “Machievelli Revisited Rudd Style”.  Suspicions are that 2016 is going to be a very interesting year as Rabbott tries to connive his old job back.  Hopefully our animalia will have their wittery restored by then – it’ll be too good to miss!!

Rabbotts Ruddery Dec

 And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

AFTERTHOUGHT: If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

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Graphical Manipulations #164: Wolves, Idiots, Rats, Toads and Broughing It!


Well Parliament has shut up shop for the holiday period and deep sighs of relief can be heard all round.  Now Orstralia can regain a sense of reality and get on with enjoying the benefits of an economy that has gone from A FISCAL EMERGENCY to one of a BRIGHT NEW FUTURE without anything happening.  Well we did have a change of Prime Minister but that’s all that happened.  Really!!  So, in covering the last week in politics what Graphically Manipulatable delights presented themselves?

All us “oldies” were told that we were far too conservative and in being so costing our Government heaps in “oldy handouts to the undeserving”.  We should, we are told, be more adventurous and “leverage” our assets, like the houses we own, so that we can “live it up” and “not be a burden on the Government you bunch of old grasping farts!”  And who was telling us all this?  Why a bunch of “really nice people” just itching to get their slice of the pie called “old bugger assets which we can’t get our hand’s on – the bastards!” And, from that, came this!

Aged Assets Wolf

Our “farmer’s friend” Barnaby demonstrated that, he too, had the requisite skills to ensure that he maximised the benefits of the Pollie Benefits Scheme, and at the same time introduced us to the concept of time travel in the real world.

Dr Who Barnaby

Our Uhuh Rat was impressed that our Environment Minister Greg Hunt demonstrated his belief in humanity and equity by demanding of the Australian populace that they give the poorest a chance to make their own decisions in deciding their energy future.  I suspect that where their next meal is coming from is rather more of a priority, Greg!

Farcical Hunt Uhuh Rat

The Toads were a bit disappointed that ex-PM Tony Rabbott’s “wishful thinking” failed to become an “actuality”. But then again, that’s karma I guess.

Dead Rabbott Toads

And they were most impressed that Warren (why do I always type Warrant and have to correct it?) Truss demonstrated that he was au fait with the concept of Machievallian.

Truss Toads

That Bloody Rat was mightily impressed with Ian Macfarlane’s machinations in an attempt to resolve the dilemma that he had been dumped from the ministry.  For no particular reason “a legend in his own mind” became a catchy little phrase in the circumstance.

Macfickle Rat

Rat also felt that Yani Varoufakis’ view of economic matters may have been one of the reasons why Greece continues to maintain its place at the top of the “World’s Economic Basket Case” list.  It’s the collapse of those bloody animal spirits!

Animal Spirits Rat

The Bloody Rat also wondered when the RWNJ’s of the Lieberal Party would either; form a breakaway political party in their own right, or, go gunning for a return of The Rabbott to the Prime Ministership!  Whatever the outcome Rat felt that Andrew Nikolic would be just the person to be Minister for Racial Purity!

Civil Liberties Rat

And we all took great delight in Mal Brough’s exposition of Heisenberg’s “Uncertainty Principle”.  Mind you, we’re still somewhat uncertain that Mal has fully explained the theory to our satisfaction.

Uncertainty Mal

And last, but by no means least, our Rattus Eruditis consulted his books of quotations and came up with this little doozy.  Apportion it where it fits!

Slippery Eel Eruditis

And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

AFTERTHOUGHT:  If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

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Graphical Manipulations #163: Misquotation, Plottery, Aerosols, Work, Mergers And Wishful Thinking!


We’ve been thinking. Yes! I know it’s a difficult concept to grasp, but the various contributors to these Graphical Manipulations have met in closed session and raised a significant issue.  That is; “Should we continue to satirise graphically the incipient ineptidude of homo sapiens, or, should we take a break at #163 and do uvver fings?”  Such a significant question will be collectively deliberated over the coming week and announced either by the presence of #164, or the absence thereof.

We’ve been pleased to note that our favourite Bernardi RWNJ hasn’t disappointed and continues to do what he does best.  His latest book is an entertaining read, contextually speaking.

Bernardi Quote Twit.jpg

The Holy Gourd stepped up to advise us that only it was the supreme source of all such quotes offered by those frail beings on the planet called Earth and, as you were so keen to cook yourselves by heating the place up, that the responsibility for such stupidity lay entirely with yourselves.

Gourd Spake Quotes

There were rumbling of joy amongst the Lieberal RWNJ’s when they realised, entirely spontaneously, that Peter Dutton has enormous potential to be a future deputy leader.  Yes indeed.  Around 2060 sounds good!

Conservative Hero Dutton

We wondered whether this was in any way associated with Mr Rabbotts machinations of late?

Rabbotts Ruddery

And if so, thought it might be apropos of us to clearly indicate our view on the matter of his possible re-ascension!

Comeback Rabbott Pillock

The Bloody Rat couldn’t believe his ears when Julie Bishop gave him the perfect entrée into a cheeky retort.

Glen 20 Turnbull Rat

And that all that money saved by getting rid of all those public servants was being used for such an excellent cause by keeping the consultants and contractors in gainfully expensive employment!

Job Cut Rat

The Toads got a bit huffy when they thought that they might end up without a pension, but a bit of rationalisation eased their minds somewhat.

Aged Pension Toads

They also saw the bright side of a current merger which hardened their desire to maintain a stolid demeanour!

Viagra Botox Toads

Finally, our Erudite Rat, who has passed through the past so to speak, and is so much happier in the present, thought that returning to the past was, well, passé!

Eruditis Conservative Rat

And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

AFTERTHOUGHT:  If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

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