Graphical Manipulations #150: Commissions, Shares, Rats, A Book And A Farce!


Underlings! Silence in this place!! After careful deliberation over several days, I have come to the personal opinion, albeit a self-indulgent and self-righteous one, that I am, without doubt, an entirely upright and estimable personage! Of sharp mind, and great wit, and totally unbiased in any way shape or form. Just because I appear partisan does not show that I am, in the eyes of reasonable sheeple, er people! While I may show lefty caffe latte tendencies and sing partisan songs of the Socialists does not mean that I am in any way biased. And that in carrying out my duties of judging the disgusting antics of the Lieberals, I will adjudicate with honesty and integrity before I condemn them to the flames of hell! For all eternity! As my erudite mentor Dyson said: “Give ‘em hell!” And so I shall!

My 480 page rationale on which my personal decision has been based will be delivered in due course, and, as I am not computer literate it will be hand-written in Gothic text kindly illustrated by the friars in the local monastery. Should you wish to contact me by email, I would recommend that you send the email to yourself, print it out, and send it to me using the regular postal service. I find that the Pony Express is a timely and prompt service should your email be urgent!

I thank you and you may all now bow obsequiously before me as I leave this place!!

With regard to other matters, our toads noted that our Prime Winky Dill wasn’t too fussed about China’s share market crash.

Hyperventilating Toads

And the Uhuh Rat thought it was thoughtful of the PWD to offer Jacqui Lambie some insight into those naughtly little unionist!

Briefing Uhuh Rat

The Bloody Rat was bemused by a Lieberal actually slipping up and telling the truth for a change.

Free Trade Rat

And that a prominent economist, obviously not looking for a job with the Government, thought that the country was being run by a cartoon.

Political Cartoon Rat

But Rat was particularly amused by the cast of thousands that the Liberal Party was throwing at the Canning by-election, although he did feel a certain sense of absence.

Canning Election Rat

Our Eruditis Rat got out of the textbooks for a change and actually thought a retort! Or is that throated a quote?

Reuditis Target Rat

It seems that the rumours had some substance when we discovered that our Captain of Team Straya had been giving the Yanks a gentle nudge about getting involved in a bit of the Syrian bombing campaign. The pre-print of the book was leaked from Cabinet. Interesting stuff!

Warmongering Politics

And you thought we’d missed Ooopseration Fortitude, didn’t you? Go on. Admit it! You thought that while we were away doing all that self-examination Ooopseration Fortitude had slipped under the radar as we harmonised our wa. Well it didn’t, and we’d like to say this;

Australian Border Farce

And follow it up with a repeat of an earlier comment related to farces, uniforms and marching up and down!

Marching Jackboot Poem2

And finally, just to make you fully aware of what’s in store for you over the rest of this Government’s tenure, there’s this!!

Map Oz Boo

And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

AFTERTHOUGHT: If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Graphical Manipulations #149: Jobs, Growth And Community Safety – As Well As The Usual!


I’d just like to say that I’m mightily impressed that our Prime Winky Dill and his Government are most concerned about “Jobs, growth and community safety”! Yes indeed, while I’m a bit disappointed that it’s not a Three Word Slogan, jobs, growth and community safety are certainly something that we should all be interested in. And in the circumstance of the unemployment rate stagnating, jobs are very important, especially to enable growth which will give us more jobs, and growth! And of course community safety! Who could possibly forget the importance of community safety? It is so important that the community feel safe. While it’s acknowledged that we have a bit of an issue with domestic violence in this country, it’s so important that the community feels very safe and secure, yes secure, from those naughty little Daesh, ISIL ISIS type people who from thousands of kilometres away are reaching out to threaten our community safety. I am so glad that our Government is deeply, nay very deeply concerned about Australia’s jobs, growth and community safety! That said, I’ll now go and take my Valium, grab teddy and pop into bed, safe and secure in the knowledge that my Team Australia Government are looking after all the jobs, growth and community safety!

Our political rat noted the willingness of the government to present a forward looking policy strategy to look after jobs, growth and the other stuff!

Murmuring Politicus Rat

The local bovines were very interested in The Prime Winky Dills assurance that jobs were a top priority in situations where coal was good!

Adani Moo Poo

It was noted that the Lieberals had flown in a candidate, probably via chopper, to serve their interests in Canning. It’s a pity that he can’t vote for himself, but he does appear willing to stay in Canning, if he wins. I wonder, if he loses, whether he’ll just fly out again or stay around for the aftermath?

Byelection Wolf

The toads noted that Kathy Jackson finally got her come-uppance when she was finally exposed as a thief, capable of lying through her teeth. They were confident, however, that her former supporters would rally round!

Kathy Jackson Toads

That Bloody Rat thought Matt of the Thistlethwaite was pretty clever in the one-liner department and deserved some recognition.

Chaotic Tupperware Rat

And that “Solidarity for Ever” was not just a socialist lefty mantra and that the Prime Minister’s cabinet were all singing from the same song sheet.

Good Cabinet Rat

And Rat went into paroxysmic fits when Eleventy Hockey tempted the voters of Cannington and, incidentally, the rest of us with PROMISSORY TAX CUTS!! Although he did wonder if events would overtake this PROMISSORY NOTE, just like events overtook all those PROMISSORY NOTES, given before the last election.

Tax Pledge Rat

Our Erudite Rat found a quote which he felt was relevant to Joe and his PROMISSORY TAX CUTS!

Eruditis Tax Logic

Impressed we were with the claims that Government control over a persons expenditure would help to lift them by their bootstraps into a better life. We can’t take credit for the cartoon but give it credit for being entirely appropriate!

Bootstraps Abbott

And being of a scientific bent, and used to undertaking experimentation under controlled conditions we can only say in true “Yes Prime Minister” style our little experiment in carbon dioxide loading of the atmosphere and the ocean represent a “courageous decision Minister!”

AGW

But I know that the Rabbott and his Government have my back, especially related to jobs, growth and community safety. So it’s nitety nite!!

And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

AFTERTHOUGHT: If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Graphical Manipulations #148: Gays, Roads, Folly, Toads, Rats, Spotfires! And More Rats!


You’d think it couldn’t get worse, wouldn’t you? You’d be thinking if you were the incumbent managers of the nation; “Jeez! That bloody Bronwyn “Choppergate” debacle has been an absolute bloody disaster! Look at the bloody polls! Two party preferred ALP at 57 bloody % of the vote, and us with a miserable bloody 43%! Bloody hell, we’ll be bloody massacred! We can’t afford any more bloody disasters! That bloody Abbott and his bloody Captain’s bloody picks! We’d better bloody get back on track or there’ll be bloody hell to pay!!”

Could I just say; “Marriage Equality” and umm, “Dyson Hayden” and err “Royal Commission” and leave it there? Apart from good old Eric Abetz getting a word or two in edgeways using a single example to prove that his warped view of reality was actuality.

Abetz Gay Stupidity

We saw lots of huff and puff about infrastructure and productivity and the disparity between the two.

Road Builders

It was thought proper to, again, draw the attention of the populace to the excessive use by politicians of their “entitlements”!

Polly Folly

And The Toads thought it was a bit much when Scotty Morrison got all uppity with George Brandis’ pontification on referenda.

Opinionated Toads

The Bloody Rat was mightly impressed with the Coalition conscientiously canning a conscience vote.

Conscience Vote Rat

And with Christopher Pyne’s hearty denigration of the Dyson Heydon business with a bit of idiomatic discourse.

Royal Commission Rat

He was also impressed with Labor Senator Jacinta Collins suddenly becoming aware that Attorney General Brandis’ contempt was more widespread than generally contemplated.

The AG Rat

All of that, and the political heat being applied to the Lieberals and their Neutered Puppies at the moment gave mind to fires in general and spotfires in particular.

Spotfires Abbott

And that led our Rattus Politicus to contemplate the ructions which might be occurring in the Prime Minister’s Office at the present time.

Politicus Rat Risibility

And, finally, our Erudite Rat searched his texts to find something that might throw a little light on the current state of affairs.

Eruditis Fools Paradise

And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

AFTERTHOUGHT: If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Graphical Manipulations #147: A Bronnie And Action, A Rat Or Three. The Rest Of The Rhyme, Is Not To Be!


It’s starting to become an embarrassment, that a Leftie like me, under all that rage at the incompetence of Rabbott’s Team Australia, began to experience the faint stirrings of feeling sorry for this pathetic bunch of losers, commonly referred to as the Federal Government, as they continued to run their political disaster to its horrible end! I have however, after several stiff drinks, and by forcing myself to stare at the photo of Tony Rabbott kissing Bronwyn Bishop for fifteen minutes, completely removed any sorrowful feeling. The photo is attached should you also have such urges. I strongly recommend a nice Brandy, and as indicated, at least fifteen minutes of forced staring. However, each to his own, and no doubt a Whisky would serve equally well. Try not to blink!

Rabbot n Chopper

I thank Alex Ellinghausen for his pictorial assistance in this matter.

It would be remiss, and most out of character, not to deliver a parting shot at the Bronwyn Bishop debacle so collective nounery came to mind, and lead to this.

Covey of Bronnies

This was the week when we were advised that Australia’s Carbon Dioxide emissions had increased and we would like to recognise the Federal Government’s Direct Action Policy for its efforts in this area.

Direct Action Farce

The populace of this big brown land were also advised that, after getting his own way, our Prime Minister Rabbott cleared the way for his ministers to, once again, appear on the ABC’s QandA. Our toads were not overjoyed!

QnA Unibased Toads

It’s truly unfortunate that with electronic media and the internet, everything, and I mean EVERTHING, gets stored, copied, clouded, and other stuff, so that it never actually disappears from the digital ether. And our politicians are beginning to realise that, despite removing silly comments from their websites, they keep popping out of the digital ether – usually perpetuated by someone intent on indicating just how foolish you look when the comment comes back to kick you in the bum. Isn’t that right Tony?

Rabbott Truth Deficit

Our Uhuh Rat was impressed with the efforts being made by politicians of all colours to show their concern that they’d been caught out “Snort Rorting”, mainly because there’s always someone who supersizes when they visit the trough and spoils it for everyone else.

Uhuh Rules Rat

That Bloody Rat was suitably impressed by Simon Chapman who had the courage to call a spade a spade, or in this case a frootloop a frootloop!

Froot Loop Rat

Rat also thought that Tony was taking the promissory note trick just a tad too far, given the disappearance of all those promissory notes given prior to the last election. On your own head be it Tony!

Promissory Frigate Rat

At about this point democracy raised its battered head once more above the battlements willing to take another hit from those who saw the concept as wearisome in the extreme.

Democracy Sheeple

Our Erudite Rat searched through the wealth of wisdom to find something relevantly democratic.

Eruditis Mediocrity Rat

And all of that, lead to the contemplation of evolution, nature, and the way of things, and this.

The Political Class

And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

AFTERTHOUGHT: If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Graphical Manipulations #146: Tweets, Choppergate, Rats And Stuff!


What a rip rorting old time we’ve had of it, eh? As a Twitter fan I have never seen that little app light up so much with furious indignation and chopper memes! And so often. If rage could be mutated into the fiery flames of hell and damnation the charming Bronwyn (Choppergate) Bishop and her adoring Prime Winky Dill would be screaming in agony as the raging flames crisped the flesh from their carbonising bones – well something like that anyhow! And finally, after weeks of stonewalling, denial, standing firm, not really abject apologies Bronwyn finally fell on her stabilising rotor and quit her cushy little Speaker number. You must admit that the resignation letter was succinct! Unapologetic, but succinct!!

And then to add fuel to the flames our favourite Rabbott excuses the whole ghastly business of an embarrassingly naked display of abuse of privilege by telling us all that it wasn’t really Bronwyn’s fault – it was that bloody naughty little system stuffing up the rorts, er works! So I guess as promised last week that should be enough on the matter, eh?

But no! I think I gave a Parliamentary promise not to mention the issue again, and being an upright citizen of high moral breeding I will now freely admit that “I lied” and humbly ask you bunch of low brow dolts to forgive me of my transgressions, just like you did for Bronnie!! PS: I’m being purely political in this little paragraph and wouldn’t dare think that you are low brow dolts in my normal persona!! ;-))

And what did we see? We saw The Prime Winky Dill’s tweet about resigning Speakers come back to haunt him, several hundred retweeted times, plus a newspaper appearance or three.

Rabbott Tweet

We saw Bronwyn Bishop’s resignation from the Speaker’s position in our superbly performing Parliament.

Bronny Bombshell

We heard rumours that there were some geological disturbances in certain parts of Australia with earthquakes off the coast of Queensland and some tremors occurring in a certain Sydney electorate.

Bronquake

And upon hearing that Bronwyn Bishop was being referred to as “Bron Perignon”, sadly we can’t claim ownership of that witticism, we thought we might put a bit of a sparkle into the wit with;

Bron Perignon

PS: We were forced to add “Last of the batch!!” when Bron fell on her sword!!

That Bloody Rat came forth, well fifth really, to indicate how impressed he was with Andrew Wilkie’s astute appreciation of the state of play with regard to donations and brown paper bags.

Donations Rat

The Uhuh Rat was unsurprised that Tony Rabbott and his Team Australia wouldn’t budge on reporting requirements, especially those reforms suggested by “they who shalt be blamed for everything” the Labor Party.

Rorting Uhuh Rat

Our Rattus Politicus was at great pains to throw his fulsome support behind Rabbott in confirming that it was the system that was to blame!

Politicus Rat Rort

Especially when the Rabbott reassuringly assured the unbelievably sceptical public that it was all about systemics really and not about Bronwyn at all.

Systemised Abbott

And to wrap up the whole matter our Rat of Eruditeness felt that he had an appropriate quote which encompassed the whole dirty little saga – as yet unfinished!!

Erudite Temptation Rat

And all of that led to thoughts of this, again someone else’s compilation, which seemed to sum the whole stinking business of supersized opportunism by a highly dubious Government.

Ashamed of Govt

And finally, for no other reasons except quirkiness and ending on a lighter note, this little graphic deserved a bit of manipulation to express sheepish concerns in a moment of high tension!

Jumping Sheep

And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

AFTERTHOUGHT: If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Graphical Manipulations #145: TPP’s, Compassion, Polls, Climate, Costs And The Usual Menagerie!


In an attempt to calm the anger, and to assuage the angst Deknarf sought refuge in a bit of Zennish literature in the search for calmness and karma. Though largely unsuccessful, note to self “get off Twitter for a day or two”, and with the Zennish erudition leaving this reader somewhat confusedly bemused we settled on the following little story as nice piece of deep thought!

“Two Zen monks, Tanzan and Ekido, were travelling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was falling. Coming around a bend, they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross the intersection.

“Come on, girl,” said Tanzan at once. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over the mud.

Ekido did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he could no longer restrain himself. “We monks don’t go near females,” he told Tanzan, “especially not young and lovely ones. It is dangerous. Why did you do that?”

“I left the girl there,” said Tanzan. “Are you still carrying her?” (Taken from “Zen Flesh, Zen Bones” by Paul Reps)”.

This was the week in which we discovered that careful independent analysis of significant agreements was not something of high priority.

TPP Uhuh Rat

And that the term “compassionate conservatism” needed some clarification, since it appears to be a contradiction in terms. More detail Scotty?

Compassionate Coverservatism Morrison

We found that the polls, despite the Prime Winky Dill’s efforts to the contrary, were trending down Liberally, and trending up – not to Labor the point!

Panicky Rattus Politicus

It seems that even the motherland Torys of our Prime Thingy are confused with his interpretation of the term Anthropogenic Global Warming and how policies of inaction might cure some garbage believed by some 99% of scientists who know about such things.

Climate Abbott Monkeys

And, of course, that Bloody Rat, a long term distruster of those he describes as being “as flash as a Rat with a gold tooth”, couldn’t help but comment on Mr Eleventy’s discomforting pyrrhic victory.

Hockey Karma Rat

Rat also thought that the Federal Opposition were being just a bit to precious when expressing their “serious concerns” about BronnieGate. I suspect their “serious concern” might be a tad more related to the limitation of largesse by irate taxpayers.

Rort Worry Rat

And, sorry, but despite all intentions to the contrary we were unable to let “Choppergate” go without one more GM contribution. We promise, politically speaking, that there will be no more of these during the lifetime of the current parliament!

Bronny Choppers

There was some embarrassment that our Prime Winky Dill had problems with the number of points on the Commonwealth star on our flag. Perhaps he’s caught the same disease as Joe, except that it gives him problems with Seventy’s.

Six Star Rabbott

Our Erudite Rat, as is his wont, thoughtfully provided some insight into politicians and truth. Those two words that seem to contain some mutual exclusivity these days.

Eruditis Rat Truth

And finally, a new book has just come on the market. Strong sales are expected over the period to September 2016.

Abbott Trough Book

And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

AFTERTHOUGHT: If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Graphical Manipulations #144: Rats, Cows, Pigs! It’s A Right Menagerie! And A Missed Rabbott Missive!!


There’s a black bile rising in the throat! The eyes glaze over as a red rage threatens to burst a blood vessel or two and the anger mounts towards an explosion of vitriol and violence! And it’s only the first political headline of the day which has served to recreate, after a relatively peaceful nights sleep, and extremely grumpy old bugger!!

There are not enough expletives and turns of phrase which would remotely describe the level of anger felt about the cesspit that we call “Federal Politics”!  Finally reaching the age where one could forgo the office power politics and the visionary myopics in management positions, anticipation of a peaceful retirement of relaxation and enjoyment of a leisurely perambulation through the declining years has been rudely shattered by a bunch of self-serving scumbags totally lacking in any vision whatsoever and whose sole agenda appears to be to screw everyone who earns less than $150,000 per annum, whilst ensuring that upon their exit from Parliament their comfortable existence will be assured up until someone stuffs them into the furnace! Praise be The Gourd!! Fortunately the generous gift of half decent genes from forebears has provided Deknarf a reasonable constitution and a 120ish, 60ish blood pressure which has served well in preventing apoplexy at the height of righteous indignation, viz “self serving scumbags”!

However, at least said scumbags, provide the Graphical Manipulation opportunity – and a place to which one can venture forth on an escapist journey!

Good ole Mr Eleventy Hockey was doing his best to talk up the desire (non-existent) of increasing the GST of which Joe had no desire to contemplate raising if the blame for an increase could be laid at the Federal Government’s door. A passing of the mega-bucks you might say!

Uhuh Hockey GST Rat

The Indonesians put a spanner in the works by performing a cull on their cattle imports from Australia. Our Barnaby was naturally disappointed in a similar manner to his level of disappointment about the granting of that mine somewhere or other!

Chewin de cud

Gina Rhinehart did a delightful “poor, poor, pitiful me” piece on the ABC the other night letting us know in no uncertain terms; “who’s da mumma!!”

Reuful Gina

That Bloody Rat stepped up with his typical cynics viewpoint of the Federal Government’s Budget strategy.

Labor Loss Rat

And was also mightily impressed at Malcolm Fraudband’s firm grasp and complete control of his portfolio. It was just the Captain’s Calls that tended to blindside!

QnA Ban Rat

And of course there was Bronwyn Bishop, she of the helmeted hair, who has undertaken the difficult job of demonstrating to the dubious voter the value of providing substantial largesse to the hardworking political self-servers.

Piggy Bronwyn

The Bloody Rat lost all sense of reality when he found out that Abbott had confidence in Bronny but would put her on probation until the detritus from the fan was adequately dispersed, and the odour had faded into the background.

Probationary Rat

And Deknarf just couldn’t help himself and provided a little poem for the occasion of inappropriate largesse.

Speakers Greed Creed

In a final word on the nature of greed our Erudite Rat found what he considered to be a suitable comment.

Eruditis Greed Rat

And finally in a fit of pique over the whole smelly Bishop saga we dashed off an email of annoyance to our Prime Minister, which much to our chagrin didn’t quite make it. We however were most grateful that whilst “there was a problem we should try again – in about 30 days”! I guess that leaves time for the whole smelly deal to blow over, eh Tony? And a !@#$%^&* to you too mate!!

PM Letter

And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

AFTERTHOUGHT: If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment