Graphical Manipulations #166: 2016! The Year Of The Monkey! And Will The Oz Voters Be Taken For One?


We made the move. We sold the joint.  Invested in a place being built.  We planned the move.  Foresaw the traps, and legworked to smooth out the crap.  It went so sweet, the move and stuff.  And then along came Telstra and Centrelink and generously donated their clusterfucks!  These two incompetents with chaotic glee destroyed all the pleasure for the Menage and Me!

Be appraised you incompetent pricks, the ménage has marked you for the nastiest of tricks. So be not surprised if you feature here, with every opportunity taken to ridicule and smear!  You deserve the best, and we’ll try REAL hard – you rotten shits – we’ve marked your card!!

Apart from the Telstra/Centrelink debacles (Centrelink ongoing I suspect) the holidays gave some respite, and a convenient break, from the hurly burly of the parochiality of Australian politics. Refreshed from their R&R our ménage reminisces of that holiday drowse!

Holiday Sheeple

Of course our political masters took the opportunity to get a few things done while Australia remained in a state of somnolence.

Toad Pollie Holidays

The ex-PM relaxed, licked his wounds, and thought about how he might contribute to governmental excellence in the New Year!

Janus Wrecker Abbott

He also determined that it would be useful to let people know that he was really friendly with a lot of people in the United States of America!

Rabbott Ego Monkey Business

The seal felt he needed to shed some light on the going’s on of the New South Wales politicians now that there has been an electoral redistribution.

Pollie Seats Sealism

That Bloody Rat provided some insight into the vexed issue of same-sex marriage – politically speaking!

Trusty Same Sex Rat

The brave new Prime Minister let it be known that the Lieberals were not like the Labor Party and, for the first time, led some of us to begin to think that Fraudbull might be just a tad out of touch with reality. Still, he’s more popular than that Tony fella, eh?

Uhuh Faction Rat

Our political rat felt it was time to let all you lovely voters know that his one great ambition was to serve.

Rattus Politicus Servants

And our Erudite Rat felt it timely to slip in a quick comment on the issue of career politicians. And suggest how Australian democracy (so-called) might become just a tad more democratic.

Rattus eruditis careerists

 And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

AFTERTHOUGHT: If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

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Seasonal Thingywhatsits!


The rats, toads, monkeys, sheeple, Deknarf, and our itinerant seal wish you;

HYN 16 No names

‘WE’LL BE BACK!!

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Graphical Manipulations #165: You Close Your Eyes, And Realise. 2015’s Not Been A Pretty Sight!


As was predicted a week or so ago exhaustion has overtaken the contributory animalia and they’ve decided that a bit of a rest might help to revitalise their jaded wits! There was a momentary fear that the demise of the Rabbott might result in a dearth of political stupidity, but thankfully that was not to be.  So along with the pollies a decision has been made to take a holiday break – unless of course, the regenerative festive season including the imbibition of alcoholic beverages, as well as notable political irrationality, stirs the “take the mickey genes”!  So, in review we might say;

Joe (Eleventy) Hockey may have been boasting of longevity in January but it certainly had little reference to him.

Longevity Hockey Jan

In February Eric Abetz showed us all that his brain, and the process of logical thinking, had parted ways when he was about 17. There is, however, some dispute that it was ever there in the first place.

Irrefutable Logic Abetz Feb

Our new Prime Minister Fraudbull, back in March, was assuring us that the bosom of the party was nurturing Tony Rabbott 100 per cent. Somehow I suspect that the Lieberal mother’s milk had something more than just protein in it.

Brutus Turnbull Mar

In April it seemed that the only one in charge of just about anything was the Speaker of the House, our Bronny. No-one foresaw that the winds of helicopter blades would savagely disturb her elegant coiffure!

Wildcat sans Tigers Apr

By about May most of the thinking populace had become inured to the congenital disease of the politician, the ability to lie while standing up and looking wide awake and marginally intelligent!

Political Liar Rat May

In June our Eruditis Rat reach the point where he was of the view that it couldn’t get any worse in the stupidity department. Sadly he was to be proven gravely out of touch with reality!

Stupidity Eruditis Rat Jun

In July Bronny Bishop’s worst fears were confirmed when the “thock, thock, thock” of the chopper blades played havoc with her coveted position. Didn’t stop her liberating more of the political largesse though.

Speakers Greed Creed Jul

And the political situation was looking pretty tricky there in August with a general nervousness and secretive mutterings permeating the House on the Hill.

Jumping Sheep Aug

By September the Prime Winky Dill was becoming concerned that all was not well and that a quick prayer to the Almighty might put it right. He was not to know that September 14 would be his “day of infamy”.  “Infamy!  Infamy!  The majority has it infamy!!”

Prayerful Tony 2 Sep

October saw a new Prime Ministerial face but the Lieberals still in the same old policy place and there seemed to be lots of “love in the air”, apparently!

Turnbull Lurve Rat Oct

And November bought the awful realisation to the Australian populace that whilst they had rid themselves of a Prime Ministerial crazy and a Treasurer who thought that division by eleventy made everything balance fiscally, they had just given rise to a government where smug was the order of the day.

Turnbull Morrisson Smuggery Nov

And December? Apart from the promise of festive debauchery and a New Year hopefully better than the last, provided us with an ex-Prime Minister driven delusional by the feeling that he’d been robbed, take a leaf from Kev Rudd’s latest booklet “Machievelli Revisited Rudd Style”.  Suspicions are that 2016 is going to be a very interesting year as Rabbott tries to connive his old job back.  Hopefully our animalia will have their wittery restored by then – it’ll be too good to miss!!

Rabbotts Ruddery Dec

 And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

AFTERTHOUGHT: If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

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Graphical Manipulations #164: Wolves, Idiots, Rats, Toads and Broughing It!


Well Parliament has shut up shop for the holiday period and deep sighs of relief can be heard all round.  Now Orstralia can regain a sense of reality and get on with enjoying the benefits of an economy that has gone from A FISCAL EMERGENCY to one of a BRIGHT NEW FUTURE without anything happening.  Well we did have a change of Prime Minister but that’s all that happened.  Really!!  So, in covering the last week in politics what Graphically Manipulatable delights presented themselves?

All us “oldies” were told that we were far too conservative and in being so costing our Government heaps in “oldy handouts to the undeserving”.  We should, we are told, be more adventurous and “leverage” our assets, like the houses we own, so that we can “live it up” and “not be a burden on the Government you bunch of old grasping farts!”  And who was telling us all this?  Why a bunch of “really nice people” just itching to get their slice of the pie called “old bugger assets which we can’t get our hand’s on – the bastards!” And, from that, came this!

Aged Assets Wolf

Our “farmer’s friend” Barnaby demonstrated that, he too, had the requisite skills to ensure that he maximised the benefits of the Pollie Benefits Scheme, and at the same time introduced us to the concept of time travel in the real world.

Dr Who Barnaby

Our Uhuh Rat was impressed that our Environment Minister Greg Hunt demonstrated his belief in humanity and equity by demanding of the Australian populace that they give the poorest a chance to make their own decisions in deciding their energy future.  I suspect that where their next meal is coming from is rather more of a priority, Greg!

Farcical Hunt Uhuh Rat

The Toads were a bit disappointed that ex-PM Tony Rabbott’s “wishful thinking” failed to become an “actuality”. But then again, that’s karma I guess.

Dead Rabbott Toads

And they were most impressed that Warren (why do I always type Warrant and have to correct it?) Truss demonstrated that he was au fait with the concept of Machievallian.

Truss Toads

That Bloody Rat was mightily impressed with Ian Macfarlane’s machinations in an attempt to resolve the dilemma that he had been dumped from the ministry.  For no particular reason “a legend in his own mind” became a catchy little phrase in the circumstance.

Macfickle Rat

Rat also felt that Yani Varoufakis’ view of economic matters may have been one of the reasons why Greece continues to maintain its place at the top of the “World’s Economic Basket Case” list.  It’s the collapse of those bloody animal spirits!

Animal Spirits Rat

The Bloody Rat also wondered when the RWNJ’s of the Lieberal Party would either; form a breakaway political party in their own right, or, go gunning for a return of The Rabbott to the Prime Ministership!  Whatever the outcome Rat felt that Andrew Nikolic would be just the person to be Minister for Racial Purity!

Civil Liberties Rat

And we all took great delight in Mal Brough’s exposition of Heisenberg’s “Uncertainty Principle”.  Mind you, we’re still somewhat uncertain that Mal has fully explained the theory to our satisfaction.

Uncertainty Mal

And last, but by no means least, our Rattus Eruditis consulted his books of quotations and came up with this little doozy.  Apportion it where it fits!

Slippery Eel Eruditis

And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

AFTERTHOUGHT:  If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

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Graphical Manipulations #163: Misquotation, Plottery, Aerosols, Work, Mergers And Wishful Thinking!


We’ve been thinking. Yes! I know it’s a difficult concept to grasp, but the various contributors to these Graphical Manipulations have met in closed session and raised a significant issue.  That is; “Should we continue to satirise graphically the incipient ineptidude of homo sapiens, or, should we take a break at #163 and do uvver fings?”  Such a significant question will be collectively deliberated over the coming week and announced either by the presence of #164, or the absence thereof.

We’ve been pleased to note that our favourite Bernardi RWNJ hasn’t disappointed and continues to do what he does best.  His latest book is an entertaining read, contextually speaking.

Bernardi Quote Twit.jpg

The Holy Gourd stepped up to advise us that only it was the supreme source of all such quotes offered by those frail beings on the planet called Earth and, as you were so keen to cook yourselves by heating the place up, that the responsibility for such stupidity lay entirely with yourselves.

Gourd Spake Quotes

There were rumbling of joy amongst the Lieberal RWNJ’s when they realised, entirely spontaneously, that Peter Dutton has enormous potential to be a future deputy leader.  Yes indeed.  Around 2060 sounds good!

Conservative Hero Dutton

We wondered whether this was in any way associated with Mr Rabbotts machinations of late?

Rabbotts Ruddery

And if so, thought it might be apropos of us to clearly indicate our view on the matter of his possible re-ascension!

Comeback Rabbott Pillock

The Bloody Rat couldn’t believe his ears when Julie Bishop gave him the perfect entrée into a cheeky retort.

Glen 20 Turnbull Rat

And that all that money saved by getting rid of all those public servants was being used for such an excellent cause by keeping the consultants and contractors in gainfully expensive employment!

Job Cut Rat

The Toads got a bit huffy when they thought that they might end up without a pension, but a bit of rationalisation eased their minds somewhat.

Aged Pension Toads

They also saw the bright side of a current merger which hardened their desire to maintain a stolid demeanour!

Viagra Botox Toads

Finally, our Erudite Rat, who has passed through the past so to speak, and is so much happier in the present, thought that returning to the past was, well, passé!

Eruditis Conservative Rat

And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

AFTERTHOUGHT:  If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

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Graphical Manipulations #162: Academics, Sex, Taxes, Pledges, Rats, Toads, And Xenophobes!


OK! We have a pile of Graphical Manipulations. They’ve been put in some semblance of order likely to fit the general trend in the thought processes, and here we sit wondering just how to begin this week’s pictorial diatribe against the various twits that have impinged their twittery upon the consciousness.  Something light and airy, or something portentous, full of verbal onslaught and cutting wit?  Hmmm?  Maybe we should just call upon our animalia and leave it at that!

Our Uhuh Rat has been mightily impressed with the recent suggestion by academics of a way to reduce greenhouse emissions.  He’s impressed with their attempt to optimistically triumph over pirate capitalism. Nice try guys & gals!!

Power Uhuh Rat

The Toads cynicism has surpassed all bounds this week.  They thought that the Victorian same sex adoption legislation was a wonderful example of the hedging of bets.

Hypocrisy Toads

That Scotty Morrisons ‘leaving out bits’ of the taxation fairy story adequately complied with the Lieberal/Neutered Puppy strategy of obfuscatorial confabulation.

Morrison Tax Toads

NB:  For those not familiar with the Australian vernacular, someone who is “not the full quid” can be described as being “a brick short of a load” or as “having a roo loose in the top paddock”!  In plain language you’d probably classify such a person as being “intellectually inadequate”.

The Toads also felt that PM Fraudbull’s promise of ‘shoulder to shouldering’ was markedly better than hopping up on Obama’s lap, wagging his tail and yapping – a lot.

Winner Grinner Toads

The Bloody Rat was surprised that the Lieberals couldn’t figure out what Tony Rabbott was up to.  You’d have to be pretty dumb to have missed the “Ruddery” that went on in Labor when Kev got the shaft!!  Tony’s gone copycat!!

Abbott Restoration Rat

Annnnd thennnn weeee were exciteddddd toooooo seeeeee thaaaaaaat theeeee AFP haaaaaad finallyyyyyy goooooootttttt theerrrrreeee aaaaaaact tooooooogether with regarrrrrrddddd to theeeeee Asssshhhbbbbyyy, Sliiiiiipppperrrrrr businesssssss.

Ashby Rat

Which brought to mind that delightful piece of masterly prose from Tony Abbott on the Ashby/Slipper matter.  It’s readily available in all good remainders stores for a very cheap price.

Abbott Book Ashby1

And what with the Paris slaughter by extremist idiots we also saw the usual Right Wing Nut Jobs come forth with their usual tirade of hate speech – admirably helping said extremist idiots to achieve their objective of alienation and radicalisation with minimum personal input.

Conservative Cory Xenophobe

So it was thought timely to advise both those within the country, and those “suspicious outsiders” coming for a visit of just a few of the dangers which abound in the fair land of Oz.  We’ll discuss snakes, sharks, crocs, spiders and drop bears at another time.

Evil Dwellers

And finally our Rat of Erudition, thoroughly pissed off with the refusal of this miserable government to be open and honest with the people who expect them to be open and honest found a quote, that, with a sentence added expressed his view on the matter.

Eruditis Democracy Rat

And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

AFTERTHOUGHT:  If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

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Graphical Manipulations #161: Leaps, Liars, Sheeple, Aged People, Rats – And A Couple of Toads!


This one’s a hotch potch hoi polloi mainly because the scribbling manipulator was off doing “tourist guide” to a couple of visiting Japanese guests who received a surfeit of pure white sand at Jervis Bay’s Hyam’s Beach – along with a decent catchup and an enjoyable wine, dine and relax.  So it’s . . . . . .

Nice to see that Adani is putting its best foot forward and the best man on the job of digging a large hole somewhere in sunny Queensland.

Adani Leap Of Faith

And that lead, naturally, to thoughts of coal and the burning of it and . . . . . .

Coal Is Good

Our Uhuh Rat thought that Federal Cities Minister Jamie Briggs epitomised the Federal Lieberal politician with his behaviour.  Lie till you’re caught, laughingly confess, try to drag someone else into the frame by suggesting that they are to blame for something else!  Excellent work Jamie!  Glad I’m not in your electorate!

Briggs Liar Uhuh Rat

Our sheeple noticed that some mystics were in the process of building a non-floating replica of a boat which floated and was, apparently, the saviour of all creatures great and small.  Being sheeple, and not fully conversant with the mystical stuff, they kinda got the message – more or less.

Ark Sheeple

We noted that in the great taxation thing.  It’s not really a debate, more a flotation, there were mumblings about a death tax resurrection.  We suspect that there will be a lot of pressure to return the stake to the heart of said beastie and a rapid re-interment!

Death and Taxes

The Bloody Rat was impressed with Scott Morrisons disdain for those who would modify his legislative masterpieces.

Cobbled Morrison Rat

And Rat also felt that if Kevin Rudd is going to provide gratuitous advice it would be best that it be related to those activities in which he has shown great skill.  Like “Leaking & Undermining 101” for example.

Rudd Advice Rat

Rat also thought Andrew Nickolic was somewhat misguided in his estimations of Peter Dutton’s usefulness.

Five Watt Dutton Rat

Our Toads, ever the celebrity followers, were excited to see that Malcolm Turnbull finally got to shake the hand of the royal tampon Prince Charles.

Turnbull n Charles

And finally our Erudite Rat, saddened and dismayed by the recent events in France and concerned about the retributive thunder of war drums, was hopeful that a deep breath and a pause for thought would be taken before precipitate action occurred that could not be reversed, and only making the situation far worse.  He thought that the words of an ancient warrior might be relevant at a time like this.

Eruditis War Rat

And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

AFTERTHOUGHT: If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

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