The Rant #15: National Broadband Network? A Pig In A Poke – And An Effing Joke!!!!


GOOOOOOOD MORNING SUCKERS!! Or you probably will be once you connect through your favoured internet service provider to NBN Co’s pathetic fucking excuse for a National Broadband Network!! PS:  If you don’t like the ‘F’ word I suggest that you close your browser NOW!  I’m usually reticent with the usage of four letter words but this NBN debacle has left me soooo fucking angry, I may have a cardiac infarct at any moment – or totally exhaust my extensive list of other expletives!

A LITTLE BIT OF BACKGROUND

There they were, our little NBN Co (or one of their many contractors) busily poking NBN cabling into the ground to connect us to the Lieberal/Neutered Puppies professed “it’ll be better than Labor’s EXPENSIVE direct to the home network” alternative. YEAH!  FUCKING RIGHT!!

Then along comes the notification from my provider of some 20 plus years (iiNet [previously Ozemail] enlightening me to the delights of connecting (HEY GUESS WHAT? YOU DON’T HAVE A CHOICE – IT’S THIS NBN OR FUCK ALL!) to the NBN.  Lovely little chatties with friendly consultant about the appropriate plan.  Little ole me seeing value of changing home telephone across to iiNet (sorry Telstra) and saving a bit of money in the process agrees to take the better $79.99 option because at the mo the current internet via the existing copper is a bit crappy!  For those interested, cos I’ve been watching the speeds prior to the NBN installation (or should that be “devastation”) due to the bad vibes I’d been getting about “how shit it was” in the mainstream media, we got:

NB: Important information: Pre NBN my speed (if you could call it that) was x = 8.82 Mbps, S.D = 1.11 Mbps.

 

The Promissory Note

The Promissory Note

So we did the deal at Limitless data, up to 25 Mbps with local and standard national calls free. The congratulatory email duly arrived telling me that once connected to the NBN I would be placed on the new contract.  Another NB: Now I was given to understand, perhaps stupidly so, that a CONTRACT was an agreement between entities where each had an obligation to deliver certain things, in this case I my regular payments for the service and iiNet the service it undertook to provide! Silly fucking me!!

AND THEN A LITTLE BIT OF REALITY

Finally, wa la! the connection came to life, after the usual buggering about and phone conversations to actually get it fucking working – especially enthralling after being told that I wouldn’t actually have to be there when it all happened! Being mindful of how shit the previous connection was, that there’d been lots of bitching about a “piss weak” NBN service, little Deknarf runs his speed tests to see how good it is!!  SHOCK! HORROR!  3.11 Mbps????  So test again, and again, and again over several days prior to email complaining about crap service.

NB: The service:  NBN speed x = 4.82 Mbps, S.D. = 1.65 Mbps.  So the speed falls to 54.6% of what I had originally on what NBN Co and the stinking Lieberal/Neutered Puppy government claimed would surpass anything Labor said it would do?  In two words; FUCKING LIARS!!  And the variation got worse to boot??

So off went the email which went like this;

On 9 January, iiNet connected me to the local NBN on Limitless data, up to 25Mbps and to the telephony service at a new cost from my old agreement of 79.99 (old agreement $69.99).

I have been monitoring the connection speed both prior to, and post, the new connection.

Prior to the NBN connection mean speed was 8.82 Mbps with a Standard Deviation of 1.11 Mbps (n = 22). Post connection the speed dropped significantly to a mean of 4.82 Mbps with a Standard Deviation of 1.65 Mbps (n=16).  A copy of the data is attached as a pdf file.

I think you would agree that this is not what I signed up for, is not the undertaking that you gave to me and, that quite simply the current service is CRAP!!

I therefore request:

That I be provided with the service that you undertook to give ASAP.

That I am not charged the new rate of $79.99 until such times as you are able to provide the service that you undertook to give. Given that the service is even poorer than before I do not see why I should be charged at all until the service is rectified.

To say that I am disappointed, and underwhelmed by the new service would be an understatement (the expletives have been deleted)!

Regards,

Deknarf

Got the usual response email (THANK GOURD THAT’S STILL WORKING) and undertaking to contact me to “work through the issues” with some “basic troubleshooting” as well as provide a “solution to the problem” I’m currently waiting for that phone call while writing this!  PS:  Like the NBN that phone call never came and hence never fucking delivered!  Gee thanks iiNet!!

During the toing and froing, what should arrive in my Inbox but a charming, I use that term very loosely and with extreme cynicism, email from one Craig Levy, ostensibly the Chief Operating Officer for iiNet (see below for your erudition).

The Levy (Levity) Letter

Levy Letter

Gee! Fucking thanks Craig for firstly telling me the bleeding obvious that I was connected to the NBN in the manner described, with the usual blurby bullshit about copper cabling, length, blah blah blah! And, that NBN Co “estimates” that my line speed (carefully trademark indicated so that iiNet can dump any responsibility) was 7.09 Mbps.  Two decimal places eh? How’s that for fucking precision on an “estimate”?.  Finally, good ole Craig baby makes the offer that because my plan doesn’t suit my line speed I can switch to a lower plan – AND HE’LL MAKE SURE THE DOWNGRADE FEES ARE WAIVED!!  My Gourd, thy generosity overwhelms my sense of deep and abiding insult by an organisation that I have supported for 20+ years!

So in response to Craig baby I’d like to say this;

Dear Craig;

Thankyou so much for your consideration, or is that condescension. I am truly humbled by your concern for me as a long time client (20+ years) of iiNet.  Thankyou also for reminding me, again, of the manner of my connection to the NBN.  If you think that I am unbelievably angry about this lack of service and that your email did not improve the situation, you would be amazingly correct!

I have a few trivial questions for you if you are able to spare time to answer them.

Firstly, NBN Co “estimates” my line speed to be 7.09 Mbps. So they don’t actually know what the speed is?? Allow me to enlighten you, and them.  The ‘actual’ line speed is a Mean of 4.82 MBps with a Standard Deviation of 1.65 Mbps.  The line speed, at times, has been as low as 3.11 Mbps.  So I would, respectfully, suggest that NBN Co couldn’t ‘estimate’ the airspeed of an unladen Swallow, European of course!  I would also humbly suggest that you may be extremely gullible if you believe anything NBN Co says with respect to line speeds as I was extremely gullible in believing that you would deliver on your contractual obligation.

Given my pre-existing Mean speed of 8.82 Mbps with a Standard Deviation of 1.11 Mbps I think you would also agree that the connection to the NBN provided by YOU, is, quite simply CRAP and not providing what iiNet offered and which iiNet, and ii (sorry) contractually agreed too.

Secondly, you might also be able to explain why: when NBN Co replaced several kilometres of copper cable up to the local telephone exchange; I am only 0.8 kilometres from that exchange; live in a building recently constructed which has ‘new’ copper wire which also runs some 150 to 200 metres to the nearest telephone line pit; as to why the service should be CRAP? So with all this ‘new’ stuff supplanting all that ‘old stuff’, the speed is worse now than when there was just ‘old stuff’?  I might not be a clever clogs but I do suspect that my leg is being wrenched, forcibly, from my body!

Thirdly, ‘your team understands’ that I ‘may’ be on a ‘new’ plan. So you don’t know?  And you didn’t bother to find out?  So this is a ‘generic’ email? Which means there are a whole lot of ‘sufferers’ in the network?  I guess I should feel relieved that I’m not the only one who had faith in iiNet.  Strangely, I’m not!

Fourthly, You may also be able to enlighten me as to whether iiNet has purchased enough capacity on this particular part of NBN Co’s NBN to enable you to provide me with what you undertook to provide?

Lastly, I must say I found your offer of ensuring that any ‘downgrade’ fees would be waived thoroughly insulting given that it was iiNet who made all the promises and has failed to deliver. So in compensation you offer me a couple of bucks to downgrade my plan?  Blaming NBN Co is unadulterated buck passing – you already knew that there were problems with the NBN and are still offering deals that you are quite likely unable to deliver to everyone/anyone.  Perhaps you should also waive the setup fee of $79.95 as well as any further fees until you deliver what you undertook to deliver, as well as cover any costs I may incur with reconnecting my telephone with Telstra should I take your offer up. Oh!  Incidentally!  Your bill with the new charges came yesterday!  At least that system works, eh?

At this point in time I have no intention to take that offer up. What I would like from iiNet is very simple.  I want you, iiNet, to deliver on what you undertook to deliver, without obfuscation and without excuses and carry out the contract that we have between us.  I expect at the very minimum line speeds no less than 8.82 Mbps (previous speed) and consistently above that as per the contract between us.

Regards,

Deknarf

PS: I’m still waiting to see a news item which indicates that the internet service providers, including iiNet, are taking a class action against NBN Co for misrepresentation, incompetence and deceit!  However I won’t hold my breath!

dk

NB: This italicised little note – well not little really – will be sent to support@iinet.net.au  pretty soon after this rant it posted since Craig didn’t provide his own email address – funny that!!

So, in conclusion;

Am I pissed off with iiNet? You had better fucking believe it!!

Am I thoroughly pissed off with a misleading and dishonest NBN Co who have failed to deliver even the most basic of internet capability? Fucking oath I am!!

Am I disgusted with this deceitful, parasitic, incompetent Lieberal/Neutered Puppy Government who deliberately degraded a National Broadband Network which would have had to capability to free the people, farmers, and entrepreneurs from the clutches of their Pirate Capitalist masters? You ain’t fucking wrong!!!  And a pox upon your syphilitic house!!!

If you vote Lieberal/Neutered Puppy next election you deserve to be hung, drawn and quartered!!

Would I get involved in a class action against internet service providers, NBN Co, this stinking Government? You fucking betcha!!

 

And that’s my fucking rant for the day . . . . . . . .!

 

AFTERTHOUGHT: If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

 

POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are not ‘necessarily’ entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is ‘purely’ coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a ‘possibly’ deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

Advertisements
Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Comments

En Passant #17*: The Galliforme Is On The Wane, Canis Is Ascendent!


Well eh? So this was the year of the Rooster?  Thinking about it – briefly mind you as such a “fowl” year bears little thinking about – it could easily be described as a complete “cock up”, overlaid with an awful lot of “Cockadoodle” without much “do-ing”, lots of “feathering one’s nest” and “counting chickens before they actually hatched”.  The unusual crowing which sounded remarkably like “Chobs n Growf, Chobs n Growf” turned out to be caused by several roosters infected with “Fowl pox” virus – Vaccination with the latest “ Buck, Buck, Buckaaarrrrk Reality” inoculum quickly limited the spread of the disease.

Gallus gallus politicus was out in force with much feather fluffing, wing flapping and raucous noise, quite a few cock fights and lots of disturbed feathers. “Running about like headless chooks” was extremely popular!  Much of it, as is usual for this particular breed, was primarily for show with the usual outcome being that those down the pecking order were further down-pecked, if you get my meaning, and ended up primarily with scraps – and not too much of those either.  Meanwhile the “Corporate cocks” had much to crow about.

To our chagrin we found that we had been duped by several roosters, and a couple of hens, when it was discovered that despite their beautiful plumage they were actually hybrids – products of chook pen liaisons which had been “overlooked” in their scrabbling for a favoured place close to the feeder.  Sadly, the “hybrid vigour” one expects from such crosses was underwhelming to say the least.  The New Zealand Barnababble Australope cross was particularly disappointing.

Foghorn Leghorn

The head of the flock, the Lord High Cockalorum Malcolm, given to bluff, bluster and hyperbole much reminiscent of that well loved cartoon character Foghorn Leghorn didn’t disappoint. Blame was duly apportioned to the rest of the flock when things were all a cackle or cock-a-hoop, and personal accolades duly claimed as one’s own and crowed over when a collective egg or two was laid.  All in all our much anticipated fighting cockerel turned out to be a self-aggrandising capon.  And we all know who ended up holding the chicken tenders from the castration – don’t we??

And what can we hope for as we stroll into 2018, the Year of the Dog? Hopefully, more bite and less bark, a lot more epic poetry rather than the usual doggerel you might say; a greater consistency in breed so that our Constitution doesn’t end up in more dog fights; less dog in a manger behaviour; a consignment to the dogbox of history of the Lieberal/Neutered Puppy Pirate Capitalists; A government of new dogs with new tricks more concerned with people, egalitarianism and equity; and, hopefully, a leader of the pack who is more akin to Rin Tin Tin than Droopy Dog!

droopy-dog

Finally, let’s pray to the Great Gourd in the Sky that our yappy American Cocker Spaniel and/or our Korean Jeju don’t ‘cry “Havoc” and let slip the dogs of war’! That would, indeed, present us with a dog’s breakfast too terrible to contemplate!!

It remains to say only this;

新年快 / 新年快樂 (Xīnnián kuàilè)

‘New Year happiness!’ – for 2018

In Mandarin: /sshin-nyen kwhy-ler/

In Cantonese: /sen-nin feye-lor/

*  Strangely, when looking to do a quick New Year wishes blog (it’s been a long time between keystrokes) the subsequent “En Passant” was actually number 17!  How’s that for coincidence?

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Graphical Manipulations #174: Something Old, Something New! Something Blue, Something Borrowed!


Ok! OK! We know we’ve got the order “versey arsey”! But to get the graphics in the right order we needed to rearrange a bit!

We don’t mean to shock but it appears pretty obvious that we appear to be one of those latte sipping, inner city, lefties! Not so far left that we regularly hug trees, vote Green and have a hammer and sickle over the fireplace, but far enough left of centre to vote Labor with great regularity!  And, “yes” I am still a card carrying union member of many years standing!  Before you get too “Yeah! That’d be right” let me assure you that we don’t exactly fit the usual profiles in that I’ve never had a latte in my life (prefer long black’s), don’t live in the inner city, have often been accused of being right wing, and sometimes hold the view that, some unions don’t necessarily act in the best interests of their members all the time and that self interest may sometimes drive union representatives.  Mind you, I known corporations, politicians and individuals that behave in a similar manner!

Simply put I have voted Labor because after three years of an Abbott/Turnbull government where all the promises were broken within a nanosecond of assuming power, and in three years they’ve achieved not much at all really, I am of the conviction that they are congenital liars and are driven by big business, corporate lobby groups and right wing extremist organisations (think IPA)! The Lieberals have about as much interest in the welfare of the average Australian as an abattoir manager looking at the sheep going into the slaughtering pens.

While I may not be over the moon with Labor and some of its ideologies I consider that they have a greater interest in social equity and will continue to treat all Australians with fairness and and endeavour to provide a meaningful life and healthy economic future for our people and for our children.

I want a country run by a government that supports its citizens throughout their lives, through good times and bad, ensures that they are as healthy as possible maintaining a strong, public owned Medicare, provides the best in education and opportunity for all and works in the best interest of the country and its people as a whole. I do not wish to see Australia become a cancerous shadow of the United States of America where pirate capitalists reign supreme and the great mass of the people are wage slaves with little or no rights, and where if you have no money the most basic health care is no longer available to you – nor anything else for that matter!  That’s why I vote Labor! And why I will NEVER vote Lieberal.  You may not be able to teach an old dog new tricks, but you can certainly teach a grumpy old voter who not to trust with Australia’s future!

And talking of old, that led to an aged Graphic Manipulation which appropriately defines my support for the Lieberals and their NO Coalition Neutered Puppies!

Coalition Support2

And for the converse, “something new”, maintaining calmness while the economic incompetents ran amok seemed appropriate!

Economic Calmness

Something blue? Now that was a bit of a stretch and required some poetic licence to get things in the right order for the grand finale.  That led to another oldie, but at least a blue one, which appropriately seems to define Australia then, and now!

Aussie Embarrassment2

And finally to something borrowed! Well nicked really and Graphically Manipulated just a tad. Hat’s off to that master of the graphic statement Banksy and his view of UKIP.  A few stars (four big one’s and a littley), a bit of a word change and, hopefully, a portrayal of what the Australian voter will do to the Lieberals and their Neutered Puppies on July 2.

Banksy

And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

If you can’t vote Labor, then just put the Lieberals and their Neutered Puppies last when you vote! Please!!

And a last word: The tenor of this little Graphical Manipulation would suggest that I am angry!  Given what the Lieberals have done, and intend to do to this country, I am!!

AFTERTHOUGHT: If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

 

AFTER-AFTERTHOUGHT: This Lieberal/Neutered Puppy Coalition Government is trashing the good standing of Australia. It cares little about its people in its fanatical pursuit of ultra-conservative ideology. It is using the weapons of minority xenophobia, the secret fears and uncertainty of the general public and blatant propaganda, aided by a complaisant media, to turn this country into something is has never been – bigoted, racist, xenophobic, selfish, self-indulgent, self-obsessed, uncaring and a disgrace to all those things that have made Australia a great country! Tolerance, mateship, community, fairness and equity, honesty and a love of freedom in both speech and expression!

POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Graphical Manipulations #173: Voting, Political Calibre, Bias, And Political Crap Doodle!


Well! You only have yourselves to blame! Last Monday I couldn’t stand it any more and trundled down to the local polling booth for an absentee vote.  By about week two I’d had enough of the Fraudbullshit and Lieberal Promissory Notes.  Mind you most of just about everything, from all parties and their pollies was substantially contaminated with bullshit  So much so, that I began to doubt whether all that training in critical thinking and analysis was a waste of time.  Perhaps I should have become a real estate agent and negatively geared my way to filthy richness.  Or, perhaps, a politician with a retirement pension and enough ancillary perks that I’d be bathing in milk every day and criss-crossing the country in Business Class.  I’d probably have negatively geared as well!  Silly me!

And the other bit? I’d carefully planned my superannuation so that I’d have sufficient to last us out, with a little help from the pension (mainly via the Pensioner Concession Card), and you Lieberals have “FUCKED ME ABOUT”!! So I’m just a wee bit upset you might say!!  Not including of course the unmitigated management disaster you have perpetrated on Australians and the country since 2013!!

So off to the booth we went with the House of Reps vote card and the Senate spread sheet! Being still sufficiently compus mentis that I am still able to count easily to four the task was over in IV shakes of a puppy dog’s tail.  The Senate card, a sight to behold, had more names on it than the Roll of Honour at the local RSL Club.  It took just a tad longer, the pup went to sleep, but finally it was done and both documents,  after much Labor and suitably folded, were safely ensconced in their respective ballot boxes.  Hopefully they won’t get lost!!

Not only is the Senate vote a Double Dissolution one but it’s also been shuftied by the Lieberals, Greens and Xenophon in an attempt to prevent gaming of the votes by small parties and individuals. Given these new complexities, and the feeling that the gaming has increased apace I must admit I felt that our friend the Orang had the ideal solution to the Senate paradox.

Senate Orang

Then there was Bob Katter’s attempt at dead pan humour with his video entailing the termination of a couple of parliamentary opponents! Tasteless and ill timed it was and it drew attention to my opinion of many (well most really) politicians and this;

Katter Calibre

That Bloody Rat popped out for a quick comment on Malcolm Fraudbull’s strong words for some football moron on the matter of disrespectfulness towards women. Rat understands that his comments do not refer to currently serving Lieberal politicians!

Disrespectful Rat

It was noted that Chris Ulhmann was back in his element of “Lieberal Good! Labor really badsess!”  So we thought we’d remind the reader of some of his favourite Labor words so that you can ensure that he doesn’t use them in a Lieberal context!  That would be really badsess, my precious!

Ulhman Labor Words2

It was also noted that Tony Abbott aka The Wacko Warringah Wabbott was keen for a place at the Fraudbull cabinet table, preferably as Minister for Warmongering. We’ve heard rumours, albeit viscous, that Wacko has grander designs and that there’s a book in it!  Publication is expected in August or September of this year.  Or a bit later should Fraudbull win the day with a large majority in the House and control of the Senate!

Wabbott Weturns

David Pope, the scallawag, put it “oh so succinctly” with his depiction of the evil deeds afoot in the Lieberal RWNJ camp. Onya David!!

Popes Long March

And in considering it all, it really comes down to trust! Who do you . . . . . .? And who would you . . . . .! That led to this and to a rapid response of; “NO WAY JOSE!!”

Trust Me Blue Tie

We were also privileged to be given one of the Lieberal Parties promissory notes. They’re going to build us a phantasmagorical stadium.  Just so you know it’s so, we provide you with a copy of the original promissory.  Don’t get too jealous now!

Lieberal Promissory Note

It must be admitted that we fell about laughing when “we’ve Turned Back A Boat” got it’s pre-election airing. Our sceptical rat was, well, sceptical re timing, and is awaiting the day when “Look Out! There Are Terrorists About!” gets dragged out with endless videos of a 12 to 15 year old twit getting dragged in to the local law court by men with large guns, masks and suitably attired in black!

Boat Denial Rat

And Medicare. What CAN we say about Medicare and those Lieberal promises that they’ll “never”, “ever” privatise it, whilst working assiduously in the back room to do exactly that!  This should suffice.

No Medicare Cuts

AND, again, David Pope waded in to the argument and put the whole concept of Medicare privatisation into context! David, you smartypants, you’re starting to annoy me!

Medicored

And we had those interviews with the Australian voting cognoscenti which also tipped us into the, “let’s vote now and not have to listen to all this crapdoodle anymore!”

Q: “And in the upcoming election sir/madam, who will you be voting for?

A: “Well I won’t be voting Labor because they’re bad economic managers!”

A: ”I’ll be voting Lieberal because they believe in God and hate homosexuals!”

A: “I’ll be voting for Mr Fraudbull for Prime Minister because he’s so nice!”

We won’t go into the outpourings of rage and invective directed at the TV screen due to these intelligent, introspective and studied responses to the question but leave you with this;

We The Sheeple

And all of that led to resurrection of a Graphical Manipulation from a time before which calls to mind a Whitlamism and clearly indicates my view on the matter at hand!

Time to Go No

And there you have it . . . . . . . .! Except for:

DELIEBERALISE AUSTRALIA IN 2016!! THROW AWAY PIRATE CAPITALISM!  BRING BACK FAIRNESS AND EQUITY!!

AFTERTHOUGHT: If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

 

AFTER-AFTERTHOUGHT: This Lieberal/Neutered Puppy Coalition Government is trashing the good standing of Australia. It cares little about its people in its fanatical pursuit of ultra-conservative ideology. It is using the weapons of minority xenophobia, the secret fears and uncertainty of the general public and blatant propaganda, aided by a complaisant media, to turn this country into something is has never been – bigoted, racist, xenophobic, selfish, self-indulgent, self-obsessed, uncaring and a disgrace to all those things that have made Australia a great country! Tolerance, mateship, community, fairness and equity, honesty and a love of freedom in both speech and expression!

POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Graphical Manipulations #172: Disillusionment, Toads, Rats, Plots, Promissory Notes And . . . . . . !


It was redolent with promise, svelte in shape, style and erudition. This could be it!  Anticipation hung upon the air like the aroma of a spice shop!  The mind was erotically enthused with the promise of the illicit pleasures to come!

The palace of delight was stripped of its coverings, all barriers to entry removed. The odours of heavenliness wafted into the air . . . . . . . . . . . . !  ARRRRRRRRGH!   The Hunter Valley 2002 Shiraz was CORKED!!  Shock! Horror! Disappointment! Disillusionment flooded the mind with anguish!  And we thought; “Just like bloody Malcolm Turnbull!  So much fancied potential, dashed by the crude brutality of reality!!

Thankfully we took solace in a 2000 West Australian Platypus Lane Shiraz which wasn’t!! Fortunately it didn’t remind us of anyone!

And the state of play in Australian politics? Fraught with GM opportunities as it ever is with the political twinkies governing, in Three Word Slogan parlance, “Poor Bugger Australia”!  Jacqui Lambie had a word or two for Cory Bernardi.

Bernardi Anus Toads

Christopher Pyne was out there extolling the virtues of not voting for Nick Xenophon’s bunch of loutish weasels thereby rescuing Australia from a fate worse than death, a representative democracy.

Pyne Toads

Some evil little leaker let us know that the Mafia and senior Lieberal politicians appeared to be hand in glove, or is that “sipping from the well” of donazioni for mutual miglioramento? PS: I’ve got so used to typing “Liberal” as “Lieberal” that it now happens automatically – perhaps it’s a sign!

Cosy Nostra Rat

And at that point out came That Bloody Rat to let us know, in no uncertain terms, his view of the current political situation, a la Rodentia. Pauline (Xenophobe) Hanson got a mention.

Hanson Turnbull Rat

Malcolm Fraudbull rushed to the defence of his Foreign Minister Julie (Asbestos) Bishop and her lack of understanding of things superannuative. If the truth be known her understanding of things diplomatic is probably of equivalence!

Superannuation Rat

And Rat was delighted with Wacko Warringah Wabbott’s, Peta (Spoonfeeda) Credlin’s excitement that PM Fraudbull had, finally, become au fait with the Wabbott’s Three Word Slogan philosophy. A sly put down there, methinks!

Credlin Slogan Rat

This was quickly followed by Rat’s great excitement at Spoonfeeda’s put down of Barnaby (Wombat Trail) Joyce’s suggestion that Wacko was still keen on being Prime Ministerial.

Horse Shit Rat

Naturally, such a spirited defence led quickly to thoughts of clandestine manoeuvres and sneaky plots being forcefully denied and that led to;

Plotting Wabbott

Such conspiracy theories being well reinforced by the behaviour of some members of parliament who seem to think Wacko is the Lord reincarnate! Craig Kelly comes to mind!  Nuff said there I think!

Onya Craig Abbott

The Australian voter was suitably warned earlier about PROMISSORY NOTES and their Lieberal use by politicians seeking to garner a vote or two from the more gullible amongst us. It’s been noted that the last week or so has given rise to a surfeit of such PROMISSORY NOTES with great potential for there to be many more.  We can only suggest that voters pay heed to this timely warning.

Danger Promissories Oz

The discovery that Barnaby (Wombat Trail) Joyce liked the Bard gave rise to thoughts about which pieces of the Bard’s many works Barns might like. And that led to:

Barnaby Shakespeare

And finally, who could resist Christopher (Whiney) Pyne and Malcolm (Fraudband) Fraudbull engaging in a bit of illumination in the realms of virtual reality!

Virtual Reality 2016

And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

 

AFTERTHOUGHT: If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

 

AFTER-AFTERTHOUGHT: This Lieberal/Neutered Puppy Coalition Government is trashing the good standing of Australia. It cares little about its people in its fanatical pursuit of ultra-conservative ideology. It is using the weapons of minority xenophobia, the secret fears and uncertainty of the general public and blatant propaganda, aided by a complaisant media, to turn this country into something is has never been – bigoted, racist, xenophobic, selfish, self-indulgent, self-obsessed, uncaring and a disgrace to all those things that have made Australia a great country! Tolerance, mateship, community, fairness and equity, honesty and a love of freedom in both speech and expression!

POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Graphical Manipulations #171: Electoral Overload, Promissory Notes, Flashbacks, Conspiracies And Nom De Plumes!


Two weeks in to the (second?) longest election campaign in Australian history and diahorrea, glazed eyes, psychotically induced deafness, as well as inflammation of remote button fingers is rampant across the nation. It is also believed that many complaints have been received by Television Screens Australia (TSA) of unwarranted abuse and several attempts at physical damage against members.  The Australian Federal Police are looking into these allegations and it is expected that raids on Labor and The Greens offices are imminent, once bookings have been finalised with Sky News!

Memo to self. Organise an overseas holiday over the period of the 2019 election!

Most intriguing, and the most difficult to comprehend, is why do voters continue to accept the election promises of the vote seekers, especially the incumbent government vote seekers, as a done deal? They’re not real!  They are “Promissory Notes”!  Not even tradeable as currency!  They are meaningless – bereft of any tangible reality!  If the “Promissory Noters” get elected their rapidly generated “Budget/Financial/Fiscal/Monetary/Terrorist Crisis/Emergency/Disaster” will immediately void such Promissory Notes!  They will vanish back into the nether – or is that never – world from which they came.  Trust me!  I’ve been around long enough to know that counting on a Promissory Note is about a trillion times worse than counting on a Lotto win!

And along with these promissories comes the spruikers, and that created a flashback to an earlier election and the then epitome of spruikers, our very own Christopher “I fixed it” Pyne, and one of our more favoured paraprosdokians!

Sound off Pyne2

But! He’s been superseded by that accelerated accentuated motor mouth Mathias (Ve vill bore you girly men to death) Cormann.  The man is a blathering master!!  Even Prime Minister Fraudbull must stand in awe of such loquaciousness!

Vociferous Corman

It’s been a couple of weeks of revelations as revellers, also known to the Government as whistleblowing scumbags, revel in revealing embarrassing facts about the Government’s governance. We now know that the worker bees in the Dept of Immigration and Border Protection aren’t that happy with the current state of affairs!

Border Farce Revelations

And that revelation created another flashback to 2013 when we noted that jackboots might be imminent!  You didn’t supply, now see!  You have unhappy troopers!

NO Coalition jackboot2

ABC’s Four Corners last night did a revelatory on political donations and had a whistle blower insider (Michael Yabsley) reveal what most Australian already knew! Arfur Sinodinos however, continued to maintain his state of denial!  Oh! Come on Arfur!! Fess up!  Your memory can’t be that bad!

Denial Sinodinos

Last week Andrew Meares, and Peta (Spoonfeeda) Credlin gave us a graphic and a word grab that were eminently suited to one another!

Messiah Fraudbull2

That one, coupled with one of Shorten presented a nice opportunity to do a comparison of the Messianic!

Shortens Halo

We had our Minister for Immigration and Border Protection Peter (?) Dutton provide us with an excellent example of bigotry, xenophobia, and racist stupidity with his vomitous view of refugees. Seeing that most of the residents in this country (Dutton included) who are not full blood aborigines are either immigrants, refugees, or the offspring of such, Pete managed to piss off most of us – except the bigoted, racist, xenophobes! Good job Pete!!

Xenophobe Dutton

Then along came PM Fraudbull and took the debate to a whole new lower level. The Bloody Rat tried to put a humourous slant on the debacle.

Lowlife Fraudbull Rat

Rat gave a small snigger, an embarrassed look and grasped at the straw of embarrassing incompetence of our federal plods in order to change the subject.

NBN Raid Rat

Rats take on the situation caused another flashback to the time when PM Fraudbull was a minion of the Wacko Warringah Wabbott and placed in charge of the Lieberal Parties alternative to the National Broadband Network – Fraudband!

Fraudband Lemon2

Whilst not being particularly enamoured with conspiracy theories it must be said that we are drawn to the one which ascribes this embarrassing NBN debacle to a person who shall remain nameless, getting a strong arm of the law appointee (who shall remain nameless) to organise a raid on Labor, further embarrassing a recently appointed PM (who shall remain nameless) who was already deeply embarrassed by leaks (by someone nameless) which showed that the NBN was effectively snafu! That is “situation normal, all fucked up”!

As a further link to the theory of someone nameless “putting in the boot” the following is provided as a bit of existential “there you are, I told you so!” evidence.

Rabbotts Legacy

If that one doesn’t put a kybosh on Fraudbull’s chances of clear air I’ll be a conspiracy theorist! And the rumours of Wacko waiting in the wings! Ooooh let’s do that again! And the wumours in The Worstralian of the Wacko Warringah Wabbott waiting in the wings give wise to cwause for cwoncern!

And then, to top it off, we find that that slogan of slogans “JOBS AND GROWTH” is a pinch and from probably the most abysmal government in United States history. Plagiarism will get you kicked out of University, but apparently it’s OK in pollie world.  C’mon Lieberals are you so bereft of everything that you can’t even conjure up a decent slogan?  You have to pinch it?  You really need to get the Wacko Warringah Wabbott back – he was so good it it!

Jobs And Growth

And the revelations that while the Government resented Joe Public double dipping it was OK for them to double dip on renting family property and travel allowances caused another flashback, and this from 2013!  Thus demonstrating that nothing’s changed in the past three years.

House on the Hill2

And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

AFTERTHOUGHT: If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

 

AFTER-AFTERTHOUGHT: This Lieberal/Neutered Puppy Coalition Government is trashing the good standing of Australia. It cares little about its people in its fanatical pursuit of ultra-conservative ideology. It is using the weapons of minority xenophobia, the secret fears and uncertainty of the general public and blatant propaganda, aided by a complaisant media, to turn this country into something is has never been – bigoted, racist, xenophobic, selfish, self-indulgent, self-obsessed, uncaring and a disgrace to all those things that have made Australia a great country! Tolerance, mateship, community, fairness and equity, honesty and a love of freedom in both speech and expression!

POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

Graphical Manipulations #170: Nomenclature, Rats. And The Rise Of The Toads!


WOW!! That didn’t take long! Less than a week into the 2016 election and the dogs of ugly have been released.  As well as the toads!  Fear, loathing, xenophobia, are now to the fore – bring on the flag waver extremists next as well as a few, possible, maybe, perhaps, well almost, they were standing close by, did look a bit suss, terror suspects!  Ahh Australia!  The land of the fair go, where the fair go just got a solid dose of brutal reality forced down its throat!

Perhaps it’s because the polls showing that the Lieberal poll numbers have fallen and given Labor a fighting chance, coincidentally gave the Lieberals a chance to fight amongst themselves. It’s becoming more obvious by the day that would be PM Malcolm Fraudbull is not in control and the Lieberal Right Wing Nut Jobs with the Wacko Warringah Wabbott in the van very much are.  Warringah you must be so pwoud!

Mind you the Lieberals are still setting their acolytes into key jobs, especially in areas where they want to control the agenda. Bad luck CSIRO!  Australian science just started coughing up blood – terminal disease suspected!

Uhuh CSIRO Rat

Seeing that name calling seems to be de rigeur at the moment, and not to be left out, we did a bit in order to improve our skills in this vital area of human discourse!

Peta Spoonfeeda

And what could be more opportune than a beautifully timed photo from Andrew Meares which gave insight into what Malcolm “might very well be” compared with Peta Credlin’s view of what he truly is!

Messiah Fraudbull

On the same matter the Bloody Rat was highly amused when Tony the Wacko Warringh Wabbott Abbott gave fulsome praise to the journalistic skills of Peta Spoonfeeda Credlin, his once personal assistant, who, strangely, seems to be continuing that assistance in a most helpful way.

Credlin Wabbot Rat

And Rat had a cheeky word or two of warning for Labor given the kind offer by the Greens to help them govern the country should there not be a clear winner on July 2.

Green Alliance Rat

And before Rat could get in another word he was overwhelmed by a surfeit of toadiness which, we can be fairly certain, will continue right up to election day as these little beasties run rampant. The ABC’s FactCheck was given the old heave ho!

Factcheck Toads

The Lieberals Green Army bright idea turned out to be a bit short on wattage. Still, it did manage to have some benefit!

Green Army Toads

The Tax Office released some data on negative gearing that could have been rather embarrassing, but thankfully ABC FactCheck wasn’t around to, ummm, fact check!

Negative Gear Toads

Julie Bishop felt it necessary to demand apologies from a Labor candidate who had the temerity to refer to Austalia’s concentration camps as “concentration camps”!

Final Solution Bishop

Julie also wasn’t backward in coming forward to support Immigration Minister Peter Dutton in his views on refugees. Her prior expertise in dealing with others less fortunate goes before her!

Bishop Refugees Toad

Given that this country was built by immigrants and refugees and is, reputedly, the most multicultural country in the world I’d like to thank such grubs for insulting most Australians, including me, and my forebears. And thanks to Malcolm Fraudbull also for not having the courage to stand up and speak out against such xenophobic dog-whistling stupidity!  You’re a pathetic shadow of your former self Malcolm!!  Or perhaps what we now see is the real you?

And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

AFTERTHOUGHT: If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

 

AFTER-AFTERTHOUGHT: This Lieberal/Neutered Puppy Coalition Government is trashing the good standing of Australia. It cares little about its people in its fanatical pursuit of ultra-conservative ideology. It is using the weapons of minority xenophobia, the secret fears and uncertainty of the general public and blatant propaganda, aided by a complaisant media, to turn this country into something is has never been – bigoted, racist, xenophobic, selfish, self-indulgent, self-obsessed, uncaring and a disgrace to all those things that have made Australia a great country! Tolerance, mateship, community, fairness and equity, honesty and a love of freedom in both speech and expression!

POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,