A sudden death in the family sent me upon a FIFO (fly in, fly out) journey, South, East to West and back again across this wide brown land: A few observations.
The Booking Jig A Jig: Have you noticed that afternoon flights from Sydney to Perth only give you the wonderful opportunity of flying Sydney – Melbourne – Perth (or some other Eastern States ramble then Perth)? I suspect its due to Qantas shuffling their aircraft about for the next day’s flights. Tres useful to Qantas, bloody tedious and time consuming for the East to West traveller.
A Ripoff to Ride: Rode the train from Campbelltown to Domestic Airport at a cost of $18.40 each way. Seeing that the cost of travelling to the next station (Green Square) is $6.40 it would seem that we are charged $12.00 for the privilege of using the Sydney Airport station. WHAT? Rather than a ‘Retail Opportunity’ this one seems to be a ‘We’ll Screw You Opportunity’.
Frozen In Time: The train, ever watchful not to break the sound barrier, crawls at about 70 km/h from station to station. In fact the opening/closing of the automatic doors is about twice as fast as the train. It raises the enduring questions: “Why can Japanese local trains travel at speeds in excess of 100 km/h between stations and ours can’t?” I’ve been in one doing 160! And, “Why can’t we run a speedy and efficient rail system?” Imponderables I guess in this State of Stasis.
Dramatis Personae (aka I really don’t want to see these – ever!): The Sloven – Unkempt woman sprawled on a station seat champing gum. ‘Sloven’, and old word, but a relevant one. Heart Attackus Imminentus – shorted, t-shirted, thonged, obese slob, scoffing an equally obese hamburger at 08.30 am in the departure area. ‘Would you like fries with that?’ Horror Show – Large middle aged women, short skirted, who slouch in Qantas Lounge seats with legs apart. Look away, or be scarred for life! Space Thieves – overly large, overly obese people who sit next to you and infringe on the minimalist space you are provided in your minimalist aircraft seat. Anyone wider than their seat should be required to purchase 2 seats – or seats should be widened!! Trying doing anything (esp. eating food) with one of these sitting next to you. Baggus Dickheadus – those, boring, selfish, self-centred, thoughtless people who carry large amounts of luggage into the cabin, and store it so that it encroaches into the minimal amount of storage allocated to you. You then have to stuff your standard bag at your feet or down at the other end of the aircraft. I really do hope that you die a painful and lingering death, surrounded by other people’s luggage.
Qantas Dubioso: Qantas, I’m beginning to question my loyalty to you, and anecdotally, so are are a lot of other people. Some reasons why: Melting Moments – why is it that parked, loading aircraft can’t be kept cool? You can’t tell me this can’t be done to provide the poor suckers in your sweltering metal and composite tube a tad more comfort. Especially if they are sitting next to a Space Thief! Qantas Plebus – no brandy in the Qantas lounge? Truly a disaster for the brandy and dry freaks. A Jim Beam and Brandy just doesn’t quite cut it I’m afraid. The Sting On The Wing – when asked if seats available on an earlier flight, told that; ‘Yes, but not in your ticket class so it will cost extra to transfer you to an earlier flight’. So I pay more for essentially the same miniscule seat in the same cabin, Right? Right! Hmm? Methinks that ‘a valued customer’ refers to what can be further extracted from my wallet without ‘adding value’. Seems that being a Qantas Frequent Flyer and Club member doesn’t count for much either.
And that’s my rant for today.
- Fat passengers should pay more, says ex Qantas finance chief (hoteliertv.com)