Graphical Manipulations #15: A Parliamentary Christmas Poem

Twas the month before Christmas, and all through the house

Not a pollie was stirring, nor even a mouse.

The dirt files were stored in their cabinets with care

For use on the morrow, no pollie they’d spare.


Now the pollies are nestled all snug in their homes

With visions of sleaze, smut and slanderous tomes.

And the mamma of mischief, and I in my hood

Had set in our brains to be nasty, not good.

Plotty Plot Plot

We had tried of our best, to give the redhead a batter

But nobody else, saw much in the matter.

So away from the chamber we flew like a flash

To plot and to plan and unearth more trash.


We’d tried stuff from Blewitt, and Slater and Gordon

Even got rumours from an old AWU cordon.

We tried to make things not as they appear

But the bloody populace just wouldn’t hear.


We’d pulled in the media, so lively and quick

But believing what we say just makes ‘em quite “thick”!

We gave them the info, and our trash file so dear

So that they could hype it and make voters know fear.


They did all the hype and the fluff in a thrice

And made the redhead not look at all nice

But just like us, it happened the same!

A right bloody cropper the silly buggers came!


“Now Hockey! now Abetz! now, Bernardi and Morrison!

On, Heffernan! On, Joyce! on, on Brandis and Dutton!

Out of the trenches and over the wall

Now slag away! Slag away! Slag away all!”


And as dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.

Off went all our heroes scooting away

They’ll not fight this lost cause and be made to pay!


Despite predilections they’d rather have proof

Than to go in and do scandal on a slanderous spoof.

And Cash, and Mirabella and stout fellow Pyne?

‘Oh so sorry, but we haven’t the time!’


So it was left to mamma and the man in the hood

To carry the burden of not doing so good.

And what of the redhead they’d tried to debase

She just sat in her chair, a laugh on her face. 

Laughing Gillard

How her eyes twinkled, her dimples how cute!

Her cheeks were like roses, her eyes so astute

Her droll little mouth was drawn up in a grin

She’d sucked us, silly buggers, well and truly in!


We thought we had her, and that she’d pay

But she managed, with skill, to skate right away.

The morale of the story? ‘Don’t go down this track’

Unless there is hard proof to set at your back.


And so the year ends on a very sour note

When you look at what’s on offer and consider your vote.

You know just how warily you’ll have to tread

Unless you end up with a government you dread.


It’s all up to you, just remember the rules

That most politicians treat the voters as fools

So it’ll all come down to REAL policy intent

Not innuendo or smear from the politically bent.

Abbott Book

So I’ll say ‘Hey de hey!’ and give a big whistle

As I rocket away like the down of a thistle

And you’ll hear me exclaim, as I vanish from sight,

“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”


NB:  Graphical Manipulations are for illustrative purposes only.  Any resemblance between individuals mentioned in this poem and reality is entirely coincidental and the result of figments of wild imaginings arising from the consumption of too much Christmas cheer.   You only have yourselves to blame!  And, that’s on how much you imbibe and who you vote for!


And, with the usual ending to these graphical manipulations:  “If there was ever an individual so totally undeserving of high office then that person is, unquestionably, Tony Abbott.  We don’t need a negative, 19th century trogdolyte as Prime Minister of this country.”  TA not fit 2 b PM!

About deknarf

Australian born and bred who has spent most of his working life in R&D and IP management with earlier forays in the newspaper industry and martial arts. Fortunate enough to be living in one of the best countries in the World, even though I might get grumpy with it from time to time.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Graphical Manipulations #15: A Parliamentary Christmas Poem

  1. Pingback: Graphical Manipulations #17: To Stunt, Or Not To Stunt? That IS The Question! | Deknarf: The Australia Blog

  2. Truth Seeker says:

    deknarf, nice one.
    Us of the poetical bent salute you, and too much Christmas cheer will do that 😆

    Cheers 😆 😆 😆


  3. ROFL This is absolutely bloody brilliant Deknarf, Happy Christmas!


Comments are closed.