En Passant #12: From The Mind Of The Child – The Creation Of A Tony Abbot Moment!


Sometimes things arrive serendipitously, or perhaps because your mind is away with the fairies and not really concentrating on the job at hand.  Whatever the reason such moments are to be cherished.

Anyhow, to the story.

Several months ago we purchased, as a plaything for our youngster kiddie-kins (grandchildren that is), a stuffed toy with an incredible resemblance to a rat.  Well, it just looked forlorn sitting there in the discount box because no-one could overcome their inherent apprehension/fear/disgust of ‘RATS’ – even those of the stuffed toy variety!

So, ‘rat’ became (inexpensively) ours and, following a deeply intellectual and perverse debate, was named (naturally) ‘Bubonic’.  Needless to say Bubonic is a much-loved toy of the kiddie-kins and features in many of their games.  He/she/it is kinda cute in an ‘Adam’s Family’ sort of way I guess!  See below;

Bubonic The Rat

We had two of the kiddie-kins staying with us on a ‘holiday with the grandy’s’ last week and the effort of the younger, aged 6, during ‘doing crafty things’ was a dressed up Bubonic (below) with a ‘Coco Pops’ helmet, a lovely pink eyeshade and an elegant pink cover over his/hers/its nose.  ‘Good God’, I though irreverently, or atheistically, ‘that’s a dead ringer for Phoney Tony Abbott if I’m not mistaken!’  I might add here that I rarely am, but that would be ostentatious of me.

So there we were, confronted by a PT lookalike thinking; ‘What to do? Oh, what do do?  For some reason a photo or two, and Graphical Manipulation sprang to mind and the result was, as you can see;

NO Coalition Flag

The resulting Graphical Manipulation will be part of my regular blog from now until the finalisation of the 2013 election where I will either: boastfully brag that the conservative enemy had been roundly defeated, or; withdraw from the field, muttering, with my tail between my legs (terrible analogy), that the forces of darkness have won and the end of the world (well Australia really) is nigh!

To demonstrate the rationale behind the serendipitous revelation that Bubonic was, indeed, Phoney Tony Abbot, the following description is provided as irrefutable proof of a high likeness likelihood (apologies to Wikipedia).

“Politicians are various medium-sized, long-tailed rodents of the superfamilyMuroidea (also know as “rats”).  ‘True rats’ are members of the genus Rattus, the most important of which to humans are the black rat, Rattus politicus leaderi, and the brown rat, Rattus servilus.  Many members of other rodent genera and families are also referred to as rats, and share many characteristics with true rats.  However they should not be confused with the general nastiness and opportunistic behaviour of the true rat (Politician).

The best-known rat species are the black rat (Rattus politcus leaderi) and the brown rat (Rattus servilus). The group is generally known as the Old World rats or true rats, and originated in Asia (so much for the White Australia policy, eh?).

Male rats are called ‘I’ll do anything for a buck’, unmated females are called ‘does he act like a misogyinst, or what?’, pregnant or parent females are called ‘single mothers’, and infants are called ‘kittens’, ‘pups’, or in Bogan, ‘little b*st*rd’s’.  A group of rats is either referred to as a ‘pack’ or a ‘mischief’.  Both of these terms more than adequately describe the behaviour of rats!  Recently there has been a strong move to add the epithet “corrupt’ to the rat descriptors.

The common species are opportunistic survivors and often live with, off of and near humans; therefore, they are known as ‘commensals’.  They may also be known as ‘parasites’, especially by the Australian voter.  They are capable of causing substantial losses in living standards, employment, social benefits and work income depending on whether they run with a mischief/pack of NO Coalition rats, or with Labor rats.  The latter are generally more benign to the voting public, whereas the former favour powerful industry lobby groups, and maintaining their fundamental belief in their ‘right to rule’.

Rats can carry many different pathogens, such as ‘welfare cuts, ‘Work Choices’, ‘higher taxes’, ‘unemployment’ and a mysterious, often fatal disease known as ‘deficit dilemma’.  The Black Death (also known as ‘living in political penury’) is traditionally believed to have been caused by the micro-organism Yersinia conservatus, carried by the tropical rat flea Xenopsylla biggus businessus which preyed on NO Coalition black rats living in European cities during the epidemic outbreaks of the Middle Ages and beyond.  Rats, particularly those running with a pack of NO Coalition rats, were used as willing transport hosts.  Other zoonotic diseases linked to these rats include ‘classical whining fever’ and ‘shooting off at the foot-and-mouth disease’.

The average lifespan of any given rat depends on how long voters continue to vote for them, which for some, can be an intolerably long time.  Rattus politicus leaderi, subspecies howardus is a particularly telling example of longevity against all bounds of reasonableness and sensibility.  Unfortunately there are no known predators which are capable of tolerating the unpleasant taste that accompanies these rats.  Even the introduced Cane Toad has been found wanting in this important area of rat predation.

Because of the ability to learn, rats were early on investigated to see whether they may exhibit general intelligence (g) like larger or more complex animals.  A 1929 study did not find a g factor, nor did a 1990 study.  However a strong relationship was found between difficult and/or embarrassing questions and avoidance behaviour (1950).  This has recently been further tested on Australian politicians and found to be an inherent behaviour trait.

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About deknarf

Australian born and bred who has spent most of his working life in R&D and IP management with earlier forays in the newspaper industry and martial arts. Fortunate enough to be living in one of the best countries in the World, even though I might get grumpy with it from time to time.
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One Response to En Passant #12: From The Mind Of The Child – The Creation Of A Tony Abbot Moment!

  1. Pingback: Graphical Manipulations #19: Whatever The Topic, It All Makes for a Good Read! | Deknarf: The Australia Blog

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