Graphical Manipulations #64: A Rant, AGW, Control, Diplomacy, Door Mats, Con Jobs, The Rat, Crooks And Pillocks!


There’s a point in time, usually as we approach the Christmas Chaos, that one is given to, rather than benignly contemplate some of those little annoyances that usually provoke a rolling of the eyes, a sharp inhalation, and the derisively underbreathed ‘F**kwit!!’, get just a tad more aggressive and actually consider wreaking serious harm to said ‘F**kwit’s!!’ – both human and corporate.  A couple of examples (one of personage and one of corporate):

  1. The Homomobilis Onanist:  This is the cretin, who on a single lane 100 km/h winding roadway (generally containing a continuous white line) cruises along at 80-85 km/hr until they reach the overtaking lane where, once reached, they increase their speed to at least 100 km/hr thereby preventing the frustrated followers from overtaking or to blast past them at 110 km/hr plus in a fit of rage.  My Christmas wish for you is that you be infested with some fungal/bacterial genital disease that is entirely incurable expect by surgical excision of the infected genitalia – preferably without anaesthetic!!
  2. The Corporate Credit Card Gouger:  This is the company that once it has you in its store/grasp, and without widely advertising the fact (except in very fine print somewhere at the back of the shop, on in the brochures, or on the back of the toilet door), waits until you stick your credit card into the little payment machine and then proudly advises you that there’ll be a surcharge on the exchange of digital information of some percentage point or three (and ‘is that OK?’)!! There you are, handful of stuff/agreed arrangement, without the appropriate amount of cash, card in machine and well and truly caught by the short and curlies.  So rather than make a scene, you (begrudgingly) pay the surcharge.  Who would do such a thing to the purchaser you say?  Well bloody Aldi would for a start, and I could name a large number of others who engage in this disgusting little gouge.  So Aldi – yesterday was the first time that I have purchased goodies in your store.  Let me assure you that it will (in the true three worder NO Coalition sloganeering spirit) BE THE LAST!!  May your corporation falter, your cream turn sour, your vegetables get the blight and the populace flee from your stores in droves!!  May your Christmas profits be miniscule and your employees find new jobs at better pay!

Enough of the ‘ranty’ bit, time to turn to things of a more mundane nature.  Thoughts of the weather’s pretty mundane I guess and considering the strange weather we are currently having in the Sydney area, the rampaging denial of AGW by conservatives, those who own energy shares and our much esteemed NO Coalition government led t0;

Tropical Sydney

And thinking of Tony Abbott (aka Jubya) also led to thoughts about earpieces, whose really in charge and why the hesitant speech.  That led to thoughts that maybe Jubya had to take instruction and that led to:

Controlled Abbott

And the subtleties of control of situations, especially diplomatic faux pa’s and thumping tubs when you really should be doing a bit of a riff with the drumstick brush gave rise to;

Diplomacy Bishop

Things diplomatic led naturally to who, whom, which, and what had been the subject of the NO Coalition walkover in the past week or two and naturally doormats came to mind;

Walked on Doormat

That subsequently led to who else had been the subject of a walkover and The Greens came immediately to mind, especially when related to debt ceilings;

Eleventy goes Green

That was just too much for our trusty Rattus ridiculosus who came rampaging back with a though about mixed messages;

Mixed Message Rat

A snide dig at obsessive centralised control phobias with;

Out of touch Rat

And finally, obtuse observations of the obvious over-abundance of outwardness of that master of the untruth, Christopher (Prissy) Pyne with;

Prissy Pyne Rat

Untruths, prevarication, lies, big lies, picnics on Islands and THREE WORD SLOGANEERING gave;

Picnic Stopper

That the overall nastiness of the NO Coalition appears to know no bounds, led to thoughts of others within this body of Howard “has been’s” and at the same time thoughts of Paul Keating (due to the recent four part series) came to mind and gave credence of one of Paul’s most apt obvservations;

Unrepresentative Swill

Naturally thoughts of the likes of Morrison and Bernardi, Abetz, Brandis, Pyne, Bishop and Hockey, following the intense feeling of nausea, led to what kind of idiot would align themselves with such individuals?  Naturally, the Prime Pillock and his readiness to accept responsibility for the behaviour of such people led to;

Responsibility Pillock

 

And there we have it, except for the last bit!

Postscript:  All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious.  Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics, al la NO Coalition!

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About deknarf

Australian born and bred who has spent most of his working life in R&D and IP management with earlier forays in the newspaper industry and martial arts. Fortunate enough to be living in one of the best countries in the World, even though I might get grumpy with it from time to time.
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10 Responses to Graphical Manipulations #64: A Rant, AGW, Control, Diplomacy, Door Mats, Con Jobs, The Rat, Crooks And Pillocks!

  1. Pingback: Graphical Manipulations #67: Years End. And A Reprise! | Deknarf: The Australia Blog

  2. Pingback: Graphical Manipulations #66: Whither Next, Seals, Diplomacy, Frootloops, Budgets, Handouts And Wishful Thoughts! | Deknarf: The Australia Blog

  3. joy cooper says:

    Thanks again, deknarf. Great GMs as usual.

    We have all come across such inconsiderate idiots on the highway. They seem to infest the Pacific Highway. As for the credit card surcharge gouge, when they tell you at the register the store does applies such an egregious charge, just pull your card out of the machine thingy, leave the goods on or by the register & walk out. The stuff you are buying is usually available elsewhere & without excessive credit card charges..

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    • deknarf says:

      Prince’s Highway as well it seems! Although one hesitates to give the Prince’s the highway appellation. Mind you they are upgrading it — oh so slowly!

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  4. ps Can you buy those doormats at Aldi? (only kidding)

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  5. Nice sharp, biting satire D. Remind me never to dawdle in front of you on a single lane highway!

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