So here it is, the second week of the New Year and thus far the NO GOVERNMENT COALITION hasn’t done anything really serious about stuffing up on the diplomatic front, have only decided to hit everyone with a doctor’s fee and, Phoney Tony Abbott has told us that we should begin the New Year full of optimism. Gosh! I’ll bet there’s an awful lot of Holden employees embracing that little homily Tones!
Naturally the moment you raise NO COALITION HOMILIES (like THREE WORD SLOGANS just a tad longer) then the Rat insists on getting in on the act. Especially after the reprise without him last week. So, after presenting several strong arguments, especially the one that he had made 68 jocular appearances over the past year, and a couple of nips (the Glenfiddich was particularly flavoursome), he won his argument of having his own reprise. And here it is, The Rats twelve selection of what he thought were his most pithily rambunctious ripostes of 2013. Oh and a couple of extras to start proceedings again.
Most go without saying so there’s this little gem of stupidity;
The ever persistent cry of the conservatives that God is on their side;
The one that says that factual briefings are essential before you open your mouth;
And another about getting your facts straight, but then again the NO Coalition isn’t much into factuality is it;
The Rat always likes intangibility it’s so smoke and mirrorish;
Other views are always carefully considered by The Rat, especially those like;
Backflips are kinda good too;
As are statements of the bleeding obvious;
And revelations by men of learning The Rat always finds of great value;
The Rat was particularly impressed at the moral fibre of this new government when, having helped themselves to a few handouts for themselves, made it abundantly clear that handouts just ‘weren’t going to happen’;
Such is The Rats cheery nature that he even found someone who thought that we Oz Hanrahan’s were just being a tad too down in the mouth;
But The Rat could not go past that ‘suppository of all statements’ as his most favourite pick of the bunch;
And as we approach the Asian New Year festivities it was felt that a small celebratory graphic might nicely represent the wonderful world of Oz’s NO GOVERNMENT COALITION in the auspicious (well possibly) Year of the Horse;
And not to be outdone The Rat threw in a primer for the coming year, confident that he will be amply supplied with great things to laugh about;
Postscript: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics, al la NO Coalition! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!