I was very pleased to receive mail from my energy supplier the other day. I can’t really share the ‘origin’ of the letter with you but can say that they put a lot of ‘energy’ into telling me how active they were in adjusting my electricity prices in their billing system following repeal of that naughty carbon tax that was putting so much extra cost on my power bills. And silly me thought all along it was primarily over-investment in infrastructure and general greed contributing to the price rises!
It was heart-warming to see that they estimated that (on average) the average consumer would, based on their average total energy bill save 8% of their average bill – averaged out of course! They assured me that as this was an average some lucky customers would save more, and some unlucky customers would naturally, because of the averaging, save less. Naturally that set me wondering whether I was just average, lucky to be above average, or plain unlucky to be, well, under-average!
It also confirmed that, on average, some 92% of the price rises in my energy bills were, indeed, due to over-investment in infrastructure and general greed. Averaged out of course!
Naturally, in their eagerness to show how keen they were in ensuring that I got the saving that I deserved they advised me that there were some proviso’s on the ‘largesse benefit of the repealed carbon tax’ which might, on average, affect my individual savings. These might be:
The location of my supply address. Aww! You live in a high density area where we had to put in so much new infrastructure – Sorry!
The tariff type and the optional extras on your account. Oh! You have a non flexible tariff type and ALL THOSE optional extras – Sorry!
How much electricity you use. Oh! You super consumer you! We’re making so much money out of you we can’t give you an 8% (on average of course) cut, that’d eat too far into our profit margins. Sorry!
The level of any discounts, rebates or non-energy charges on your bills. Oh! So we’re already giving you the geriatric’s discount, a rebate for paying early and there are all those energy access, connection and supply continuity charges! Sorry!
By this time I had gathered that the promissory $550 saving, promised by that “Promiser Extraordinaire” Tony (Prime Winky Dill) Abbott was, well, entirely promissory, as well as totally fictional and confined the explanatory missive from our energy provider to where I originally thought it should reside – in the rubbish bin, which I have now renamed “The Bullshit Receptacle”. Note the use of the ever so popular Three Word Slogan!!
PS: The signatory of said missive possessed an Irish moniker and that convinced me that someone was truly ‘taking the Mick’, begorrah!
Anyhow enough of that. Let’s kiss the promissory $550 goodbye and confine such thought to those of wishful thinking and consider how, sometimes, things said as a callow youth come back to haunt you. Eh Chris?
And how, despite all the rules surrounding the undertaking of and carriage of democracy it ain’t quite what it used to be.
In the ensuing deep concern and emerging panic, successfully inflamed by the sabre-rattlers and war drum thumpers we were encouraged by our Prime Minister’s soothing words.
As usual The Rat stepped up to provide an insight into the political goings on as observed through the rodent mind. He got a giggle from Tony’s joke.
Was extremely amused at the Prime Winky Dills exuberant confidence as ICAC continued to grind bloodily through the NSW Lieberal Party.
He also felt relieved that Bernie Fraser provided an excellent definition of strangeness related to superannuation.
There was the usual monkey business related to some confusion about budget horrors and terrorist horrors.
And the scales of terror warnings were further clarified as Australia lifted its level of terror from medium to high.
With all the patriotism and Team Australia talk wafting about the airwaves it was felt time to introduce an oath of fealty into this country of disobedient reprobates.
And finally, after some deep thought, and still not figuring out exactly what 42 referred to all the scare-mongering led to wondering about budget conspiracies and maybe a little premonition, eh?
And there you have it . . . . . . . .! Apart from a few warlike thoughts.
A conventional army loses if it does not win. The guerrilla wins if it does not lose. Henry Kissinger (and he knew what he was talking about)!
The supreme excellence is not to win a hundred victories in a hundred battles. The supreme excellence is to subdue the armies of your enemies without even having to fight them. Sun Tzu (and so did this guy)!
AFTERTHOUGHT: If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!
POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics, al la NO Coalition! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!