Hmmm! ‘Shirtfronting’ seems, these days, to have a different connotation to that I recall from my Sandgroper days. In those days of callow youth when the brain was predominantly controlled by the gonads and testosterone, the fine art of ‘Shirtfronting’, largely practised by those who couldn’t control their aggression and their alcohol consumption, was somewhat different to what the interpretation appears to be today. I hasten to note that I, like many of my peers left this youthful callowness behind at around 21/22 years of age and avoided participation in such practises. It would seem that some of our current politicians still remain in that state of callowness.
Anyhow, the art of shirtfronting went basically as follows. Some sort of insult or affront would be imagined or delivered. A shirt would be grabbed at about the point where the collars joined on the chest, the hand twisted into a fist whilst pulling the ‘shirtfronted’ well within the area where spittle from the upcoming abuse would spray liberally upon their face. This would be followed by, naturally, the abuse and the offer to ‘do somefin abart id’ (or grunts to that effect). Should the shirtfronter be a bit slow off the mark, the knee driven by the shirtfronted into the shirtfronter’s gonads would quickly put an end to the confrontation. There being some strange moral code in those days the person falling to the floor after such a confrontation was rarely kicked or abused further since the confrontation was classified as complete upon a backdown or a successful ‘knee job’ by the shirtfronted, or an ensuing fight won by either party, or stopped by a bevy of ‘mates’.
As noted last week we just couldn’t resist a bit of shirtfronting in our Graphical Manipulations. So some simplified instruction on the fine art was considered warranted.
PS: For those foreign readers who may not be up with Australia’s unique slant on the English language, as she is spoke: Drongo = A ‘no-hoper’ or fool, and; Nob = An irritating idiot with no redeeming features. Cynics would also say that the difference between these terms and ‘politician’ is almost indistinguishable.
It was also thought that one should also hedge one’s bets given that the shirtfronting promise by our illustrious Prime Winky Dill may not turn out exactly as planned.
Being in a shirtish format GM became locked in the T shirt theme when considering that our PWD had shown his strong support for the industry with pollution as its collateral damage. But as has been noted by you know who, ‘shit happens’!
And we just couldn’t let macho man Mathias Cormann off without a ‘girly man’ t shirt of his very own.
The Rat, as is his form, popped out for his quirky take on things homo sapient with;
Looked approvingly upon the Australian Tax Office as it endeavoured to keep the public in the dark as to who the Public Service Minister was.
And finally wondered just how long it would be before those silly humans realised that The Great Leader had promised much, but delivered so little.
The Rats view of the world led to thinking about just who was in charge of Team Australia and it was determined that we were also being kept in the dark about that too.
And we were particularly impressed when The Great Leader expressed his abiding confidence in the capability of Australian companies and their workers.
It was felt opportune to provide another calmness poster to ensure that the populace wasn’t overly disturbed by the shirtfronting threats.
And despite the fact that we’d GM’d our usual ten, we just couldn’t leave Mathias alone!
And there you have it . . . . . . . .!
AFTERTHOUGHT: If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!
POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics, al la NO Coalition! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!