It must be admitted that we were taken entirely by surprise last week by the sudden appearance of the ‘non-definitive database’, or in the appropriate Three Word Sloganese, the “Non Definitive Database’! Once the shock and horror had lessened we realised that such a collection of information carefully collected in a meaningful non-definitive way and agglomerated into something of non-definitive substance must have some deep and mystical non-definitive meaning and represent a revelation which had the incredible potential to change modern man’s non-determinative perception of the universe. Scary stuff!
Fortunately, it was realised that ancient writings existed which would provide the key to understanding these non-definitive databases. A careful analysis of “Beginning Statistics A to Z” by William Mendenhall led, purely by obscure reference, to the definitive ancient writings describing such non-definitive databases – The Datum Pontificus Magesterium. Chapter Six, Verses 1 to 6 are particularly illuminating, and reproduced for your erudition here.
6.1 Oh non-definitive database, thou art fucking useless.
6.2 Thy entries are meaningless, their value inconsequential.
6.3 The Pontifacts hath agreed, that thou art of no relevance.
6.4 Thy entries representeth nothing, nil, nought, nada, bugger all.
6.5 Thy purpose is questionable, and hath no meaning majestic.
6.6 Except for the Ambulatory Factotums Placatory, in their protection of those priests who maketh like the idiot.
More than a little illuminating should one believe such ancient writings, eh?
But what of the week? This piece of graphic seemed strangely compelling even if it’s a bit early for duck season. But obviously not for drone season.
That Bloody Rat, obviously affected by spirituous liquor and Christmas benevolence went on a rampage of revelatory ridicule about Kevin Andrews desire to see all his relationship vouchers utilised.
And Rat also thought that Joe Hockey’s ‘shock absorber’ reference was a tad inappropriate at this time.
He also felt that Joe seemed a bit out of touch with reality and suggested, somewhat inappropriately, that too many cigars and Chivas Regal have a tendency to make one a little detached from reality.
Rat thoroughly enjoys Anthony Albanese – he of the snappy door-stop comment, and felt that his latest observation about our Prime Winky Dill gave great cause for thought – and mirth!
And being an atheistic realist rather than a follower of the theology of Datum Pontificus Magesterium, Rat put that bloody non-definitive database in perspective.
The Toads felt that Joe Hockey needs to ensure that when he makes a comment on the economy he’s not also shooting himself in the foot with the illogic of it all.
They also thought that Ray Hadley was a bit overly generous with his performance marking and wondered whether it was all his own work or the grading was pre-determined to ensure that at least some of those examined actually passed the evaluation. Some disappointment there, and questions asked.
We saw the return of the Pillock with his peculiar slant on what’s good for the female of the species and the place most of them belong in his grand scheme of things! By the way Tony, we’re still waiting for our $550!!
The monkeys, plainly, had several questions to be asked which need to be answered plainly so that all that begging would not go unfulfilled, if you see what I mean, plainly speaking.
And we also learnt that the Captain of the crew of the good ship Team Australia had done a bit or crew reorganising and successfully removed the barnacles that were having an adverse effect on progress in a turbulent sea of uncertainty.
And, semi-finally, to those of you who read this blog I wish you all the best for the Festive season, and;
And there you have it . . . . . . . .!
AFTERTHOUGHT: If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!
POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics, al la NO Coalition! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!