Graphical Manipulations #116: Drought, Rats, Blindsided, Sieges, Welcomes, GSTs And Pillocks!

Well!  The New Year seems to have got off to an excellent start, eh?  Despite the holidays and without missing a beat our trusty Team Australia continued their headlong gallop towards an Oscar in comedic irrelevancy.  And we must thank them, all of us who blog, and tweet.  For without them we’d have to divert our desire, ire and angst towards some other object/s of derision and ridicule.  So!  Thankyou Team Australia for your ridiculously generous contributions!   Or is that generously ridiculous contributions?

The continued recalcitrance of our Prime Winky Dilly and his Lieberal/Neutered Puppies to recognise the reality of Anthropogenic Global Warming seems strange since they appear to be in tune with Three Word Slogans.  And we figured that the PWD has the ultimate solution.

Abbot Coal Eaters

That Bloody Rat was swiftly into the affray to point out that there seemed to be some disagreement within the Lieberals as to the value of coal when there was lots of Coal Seam Gas abounding.

Gas Rat

Ratty was also quick to point out that Premier Coal of Western Australia had a ready made counter to such lies perpetrated by the CSG proponents: “On burning, natural gas produces nearly half the CO² per unit of energy delivered compared to coal because of a lower ratio of carbon to hydrogen (52.4kg CO²/GJ versus 93.8kg CO²/GJ. However, to more fairly consider the relevant impacts of Western Australia’s coal and gas, the complete process from resource and infrastructure development through to combustion must be considered. Comparison of WA coal and gas fuel emissions is limited by available data for the local gas industry, although losses of 1.9% were reported for Australia in the mid 1990’s. The Australian Gas Association (AGA) report produced by Energetics (2000) attempted to address some of the full cycle accounting but for the Woodside North West Shelf to Perth scenario, failed to provide the detail on flaring, general venting, transmission losses and energy usage in production. Evaluation of Collie coal is much simpler with factors such as spontaneous combustion, emissions from energy use in mining, processing and transport well understood. A strength of Collie coal is the absence of methane and therefore no fugitive losses on extraction. An equally important consideration is the time horizon chosen for assessing greenhouse impacts. Methane has around a 12-year life in the atmosphere yet commonly a 100-year time horizon is used. This downgrades the impact of methane from nearly 100 to 21 times. At 1-2% losses, applying the normal life span of methane, WA natural gas and Collie coal have similar greenhouse intensities.” So stick that in your gas bottle, chum!! Coal is goot! Yah??

Rat was also particularly impressed with Julie Bishop’s plea that greater respect be given to all the ‘old bastards’, although he suspected that there might be some ulterior motive in her apparent empathy.

Premptive Bishop Rat

Rat also detected in Julie a bit of wistful pining for days gone by and for days unrecapturable regardless of how hard one might wish.

Bishop 30 Rat

And then our beloved Prime Winky Dill came along and spoilt Rats excursion into rationality and reality with;

Best PM Rat

Rat has been returned to a padded room, suitably strait-jacketed until the maniacal laughter ceases.

And in this bright new year Australia has been blessed with a brand spanking new Min for Soc Serv, the dishonourable SCOTT MORRISON who has acted resolutely to impose his will upon the populace!  In three world sloganese:  BE VERY AFRAID!!

Morrisons Giveth

Our Treasurer, Joe (Eleventy) Hockey has found himself on the horns of a dilemma as he decides whether the siege in Martin Place was indeed a siege, or, more spectacularly, a terrorist act.  It would seem that our Joe is under siege himself!

Siege Dilemma

It’s also gratifying to see that our new Min Imm & Bord Prot Peter (I can be just as nasty as Scotty) Dutton has moved quickly to stamp his neat little boots all over his new role, clearly expounding his intent to STOP THE LOT!

Welcome to Oz

And we’ve had rumblings (well foments, frothings, fermentations and faffing really) as Joe Public is softened up for a lift in the GST and/or its addition to food.  The banks, as well as Woolworths and Coles, have moved quickly to assist the public in meeting the higher costs of these essential food items.

Food GST

Not to be outdone our Prime Minister advised us that there was one thing that he was particularly good at;

Sledging Pillock

Unfortunately he missed out thuggery, misogyny, belligerence and incomprehensible speech.  Still!  Sledging eh?  Eh?  Waddya reckon, eh?

And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

Except for;

Abbott Quote


AFTERTHOUGHT: If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics, al la NO Coalition! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

About deknarf

Australian born and bred who has spent most of his working life in R&D and IP management with earlier forays in the newspaper industry and martial arts. Fortunate enough to be living in one of the best countries in the World, even though I might get grumpy with it from time to time.
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3 Responses to Graphical Manipulations #116: Drought, Rats, Blindsided, Sieges, Welcomes, GSTs And Pillocks!

  1. Dear Mr. Deknarf, as a regular reader of your GM’s I have observed that in the case of Tony Abbott, he seems to be bent out of shape. Please feel free to refer him to my services. I have a selection of large rubber mallets designed specifically for this purpose and would love to apply them. Obligation free quote.
    Yours in anticipation,
    Bob the panel beater from around the corner.


    • deknarf says:

      Dear Bob, Many thanks for the kind offer of Rabbott Panel Beating. Unfortunately careful inspection by unbending professionals indicates, with a relatively high degree of certainty, the any beating to reshape would be useless. Fun but useless. We would suggest that you approach Mr (soon to be PM) Scotty Morrison or the alternative, Ms Julie (Asbestosis) Bishop with your offer of rectification. Both appear sadly in want of a thorough reshaping!
      Yours, in anticipation
      Deknarf. 😉


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