Graphical Manipulations #119: Gunfights, Cops, CO2, Lies, Pigs, Rats, Toads, Monkeys & Barnacles!

Well!  Here it is!  It’s AUSTRALIA DAY +1!  When we dragged out our patriotic fervour and gave it a bit of a dust off, tried to remember the National Anthem, resorted to thinking how ugly the flag was, and why in Gourd’s** name we aren’t a Republic and have finally got rid of:

  1. Britain’s apron strings.
  2. A flag that represents our domination by some little backwater in the Northern hemisphere.
  3. Our kow-towing sense that we are somehow inferior to those who speak with posh voices and are really into class systems.
  4. Knigget and Damsel hoodery, as practiced by the “Mother Country” and,
  5. Our cringing, whiney supplication to anyone who has a Sir, Dame, Prince, Highness, or some other title, stuck in front of their moniker!

Following the briefest consideration of such important matters we then turned our thoughts towards booze, barbies (not the dolly kind [well some did]), sport, sun, sand and surf and doing bugger all (or as near to it as possible) for a day!  With that ever omnipresent awareness that tomorrow it would be back to work, half of the wages of which (according to our great Treasurer Joe ‘Eleventy’ Hockey), would go into the Government’s pocket.  Well not quite right Joe but then again we know you can’t count, and percentages are probably just a bit too far up the mathematical chain for you to really get a grasp on them.  So it’s back to the ‘times’ table for you I’m afraid!

It’s always pleasant to reminisce and in doing so we dragged out this little GM from a year ago when our beloved Prime Winky Dill was explaining to us the difference between those we were helping kill those who were trying to kill them, and us – well something like that anyway.

Good Baddy Abbott Repost

On to more current matters.  We heard rumours that a book may be in the offing by our much beloved Scotty Morrison, he who ‘Stopped the Boats’, had ‘Indonesia Pissed Off’ and ‘Redefined Concentration Camps’.  Apparently it’s going to be a racy little number full of wild car chases and exciting ‘shoot-outs’ as our very own Scotty ‘Takes Em Down’!  Enjoy!

Welfare Cop Morrison

It appears (I say that advisedly because it’s only the scientists that say so) that 2014 was the hottest 12 months since records began in 1880.  No doubt the non-scientists will decry the delivery of factual information on hottie hotness as propagandist alarmism from people who want more money to fund pointless research into atmospheric physics.  Our very own Albo put it in context.

Frozen In Time Abbott

It appears that promissory notes from The Great Leader, that he would charge into Queensland to rock the socks off the undecided and troublesome voters were just that – promissory.  Apparently he’s decided to stay away because they don’t need his expertise in  . . . . ahhh!

Absen Abbott

Still!  Poor old Campbell Newman has a few little problems of his own but he’s taking a strong stance and using false accusation, bikies and Google to ensure that he’s in with a chance.

LNP Pigs

That Bloody Rat popped up to point out that our Prime Minister Tony Abbott, aka The Prime Winky Dill, aka Toxic Tony had been much in the news this past week (Gourd**! Has he ever!) making sure that everyone is aware of his decision making skills.  Seems that some of his fellow Lieberal/Neutered Puppies are a tad discontented though!

Discontent Rat

Rat thought that Tony was pretty damned smart in not looking a bond rate in the mouth considering that he’d have to pay it all back at 2.55% fixed over 10 years.  A true conservative Tony!  Well done!!

Sharp Tack Rat

He was also pretty surprised that Joe Public was surprised, irate, and antsy that the LNP had resurrected Work Choices disguised as Work Choices II.  Rat knew that nothing remains buried forever when there are rats about!

Workchoices Rat

And finally he was amused that Tony had kniggeted a knigget whose current working title is ;  HRH The Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, Earl of Merioneth and Baron Greenwich, KG (Knight of the Garter), KT (Knight of the Thistle), OM (Order of Merit), GBE (Knight Grand Cross of the Order of the British Empire), AC (Companion of the Order of Australia), QSO (Companion of The Queen’s Service Order), PC (Privy Counsellor). Rat was concerned as to just how you would add ‘Sir’, wondering just where you might stick it! The ‘electronic graffiti’ was pretty good too!

Graffiti Rat

The Toads took to touting rumours that the Murdoch rags might be getting a tad tired of Tony, in concert with the small margin mediocrity on the back bench.

Medicare Toads

The monkeys were somewhat confused about the difference between ‘vigorous discussion’ and the ‘captain’s call’.

LNP Liars

And finally, after all that depressing derogation of duplicity and deviousness we were attracted by a strong desire for some light relief!  Operetta sprang to mind – and that, led to this!

Sinister Prime Ministers

And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

Except for;

** As a non-believer, and endeavouring to give due respect to the sensitivities of those who hold strong views about some mystical being creating everything and then giving them a whole set of rules that can be endlessly interpreted in different ways, I will, in future, use the word “Gourd” rather than “God” so as not to offend such sadly misguided people.  I am yet to come up with a successful alternative for “Jesus Christ’, “Allah”, “Yahweh” or any other Godly appellation! Stay tuned it’s early days!


Abbott Joke A


AFTERTHOUGHT: If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics, al la NO Coalition! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

About deknarf

Australian born and bred who has spent most of his working life in R&D and IP management with earlier forays in the newspaper industry and martial arts. Fortunate enough to be living in one of the best countries in the World, even though I might get grumpy with it from time to time.
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1 Response to Graphical Manipulations #119: Gunfights, Cops, CO2, Lies, Pigs, Rats, Toads, Monkeys & Barnacles!

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