Well here we are! It’s almost budget time and the media hacks, pundits, commentators and revelators are all waiting with bated breath to paraphrase, plagiarise, eulogise, pontificate, prognosticate, and summarise. All for the benefit of we, the voting sheeple, and for their magnificent egos. And I suppose that there’ll be some actual factoids (and some real policy direction) buried deep within – MAYBE!
Thus far the revelations carefully gleaned from the usual pre-budgetary leaks aimed at softening up the sheeple with the good bits and saving the bad bits to be carefully hidden amongst several thousand obfuscatory words would seem to be these. In terms of childcare the government is generously going to rob Peta to pay Pauline, and in terms of giving those pesky drain on the community purse pensioner grubs similar treatment, the government is going to generously rob some Poppy’s and Grandma’s to give other Grandpop’s and Nanna’s a little largesse so that they can buy two cans of dog food a week, rather than just one! How can you not say that you don’t just lurve this Team Australia Government!
Now! As I understand that which is of some interest to a grumpy old man like me, this government is going to stop giving a miniscule bit of pension to those of us who’ve put a small bit of dosh away which reduces our bite on the pension and through interest gives us an income to live on while we wile away the rest of our lives leaning. Which then means that that small bit of dosh is more rapidly diminished to the point that we will eventually get back on the pension to be given more and more pension more rapidly, since our small bit of dosh has so degraded that it doesn’t provide enough income to live on any more. Which means, If I am correct of course, that because the miniscule bit of pension has been taken away, I become a leaner on the pension purse just that much sooner, and given the level of interest on investment these days one could say “least said soonest mendicant”! Well something like that anyhow! Now if that ain’t a shit piece of long term policy making then pray tell me what is!!
It’s also pretty disappointing that our beloved Treasure Joe (Eleventy) Hockey appears to have been left right out of selling his very own budget, which has suddenly become the property of our Prime Winky Dill Rabbott and his toecutting mate Scotty (Cuddles) Morrison. So in order to provide a bit of balance and put a bit more of the spotlight on Joe, we’ve tied up Those Bloody Rats, and let Eleventy out of his office for a bit of the budgetary limelight. GO FOR IT JOE!!
If ever there was one for clarity, it’s Joe!
There are some who say that our Joe can’t count, but I suspect that Joe is very close to creating a new mathematical model in advanced numerology.
We should also not forget that Joe and his stogey smoking sidekick Mathias (Girly Man) Cormannnnn made Labor’s fiscal emergency disappear into a deficit black hole by increasing it to a level no longer contemplatable by mortal man! Well done guys!!
And you must admit that the longer Joe has been in the job, the more adept he has become at handling very large numbers. See! That numerology skill is paying off!
His ability to sustain an incredible argument using the most circuitous logic has also improved beyond the merely unremarkable to being exceptionally mediocre.
And his willingness to make a self deprecatory joke has also shown that he is, underneath all that, umm heavinesss, a very witty fellow!
Mind you. He certainly knows when it’s time to stand firm and clearly express his strong feelings on budgetary matters!
And really, it’s not his fault if the tools (biological and electronic) are not quite up to the task of creating a budget that not only pares, but shares and cares.
And overall, on the night, you’ll realise that the 2015/16 budget is, in all its verbosity, numeracy and hype, just another;
And there you have it . . . . . . . .!
AFTERTHOUGHT: If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!
POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!