Oxymoron: A figure of speech that juxtaposes elements that appear to be contradictory. Oxymorons appear in a variety of contexts, including inadvertent errors (such as “ground pilot”) and literary oxymorons crafted to reveal a paradox.
Well! That’s one explanation I guess. Another could be a figure of speech often concocted by oxygen wasting morons to give the impression that they are unbelievably intelligent and can create figures of speech far beyond the understanding of us mere mortals. Very often such figures are very akin to Three Word Slogans and we are all well versed in their creation and use by our current Government. Well up until recently that is, when things suddenly changed and the then master of the TWS, Tony Rabbott, was unceremoniously dumped for someone well versed in expansive meaningless verbiage, our very own Malcolm Fraudbull!
But more of that later. There are a couple of ancillary antics which need to be considered before we delve into the oxymoron evolution.
There was a general “jumping for joy” or “sobbing and wringing of hands”, depending on your political predilections when the Neutered Puppy Party went from the entirely predictable (and incredibly boring) Warren Truss to the entirely unpredictable (and incredibly wacko) Barnaby Joyce. We knew the party required some serious underpinning, but this was ridiculous!
We’ve also noticed that the Senator of 400 odd primary votes, one Michaelia Cash, has been extremely vociferous (with untruths and inaccuracies liberally applied) in socking it to those naughty unions who, according to her, are about to totally destroy the lives of all and sundry, are (almost) equivalent to the very worst of the Islamic State, and thoroughly deserve being carefully watched over by a powerful committee that can fine the crap out of them should they misbehave! Vulturine, with gallinaceous idiosyncrasies came to mind;
And now – back to oxymoronicity!
It seemed, for a while there, that we had finally moved on from the TWS, and its creator, and entered a strange world where brevity was no longer the soul of wit. Nor anything else for that matter. What had once taken three words to describe now took at least three hundred, or so! We had entered an exciting time in linguistics where phraseology and eloquence with verbal dexterity were the keys to discourse. We listened, until the meaningless loquacious drone numbed our brains and sent us into that pre-evolutionary torpor that precedes hibernation. Success in creating total apathy in Joe Public was almost within the grasp of the Lieberal Party! They had nearly succeeded, as in Brave New World, of a populace so numbed that they would have voted, without question, for the incumbents.
And then some idiot fucked it!! Yep! We can’t speak more plainly than that! They let loose the ghosts of Rabbott’s past with a THREE WORD SLOGAN disguised as an oxymoron – “Continuity and Change”! There are rumours that Tony Rabbott had a hand in this trickery as part of his ultimate revenge on the usurper Fraudbull. We hasten to distance ourselves from such innuendo!
Once “Continuity and Change” memed its way into the collective consciousness, fertile minds saw the endless opportunities. Especially if a little poetic licence would allow the oxymoronic expression of political ridiculousness! First off the block was that epitome of monocular wisdom George Christensen and his deeply sexular concern with the Safe Schools Program. Here’s to you George!
It was of course our Mal who authorised (we hope) the release of the key oxymoron “Continuity and Change”! And then had to make a 3,000 word apologia for it being a rip-off from some American comedy show about Vice-presidents.
We thought we’d try a few of our own and thought that: “Continuity sans Questions”, “Continuity with Fantasy”, “Continuity with Confusion”, “Continuity with Fraudbullshit”, “Continuity with Incompetence”, “Continuity with Nomenclature”, “Continuity with Conservatism” and, “Continuity with Thuggishness” might be more appropriate. However, in the search for ever more simplification, we settled with;
We also felt that this was an opportune time to get the voter to engage “Continuously with Lieberalism” by giving away a few t-shirts.
Much to our surprise, while we were engaged with our word craft, who should come forth from the shrubbery and set himself firmly in the lexical gun sight but good old Arfur Sinodinos. The toads got a bit distracted.
We also got carried away with; “Continuity with Corruption”, “Continuity with Stupidity”, “Continuity with Duplicity”, “Continuity with Slipperiness”, “Continuity with Brown Paper Bags”, Continuity without Total Recall” and, “Continuity with La Cosa Nostra”. However, we settled for simplicity.
Not to be outdone, the Wiley Wabbott provided a 3,706 word essay in Quadrant explaining why he was the greatest Prime Minister (un-reelected) since the illustrious Menzies – Sorry John! And to drive home the point he configured three (that’s THREE) three word slogans into his introductory sentence! When it comes to TWS’s there is no equal to this man! The fact that he has gone barking mad and intent on destroying the Lieberals to get to Fraudbull should be overlooked when considering his greatness, and his value to Labor and Bill Shorten. So here is that unexpurgated sentence for you to look upon with awe and admire Wabbott’s total commitment to his objective.
And how did we see such machinations in terms of oxymoronic description. Like so;
And if the stumbles, cock-ups, and machinations keep coming over the next 100 odd days there is only one way, oxymoronically, that we can describe the Lieberal election strategy simply. And that’s;
And there you have it . . . . . . . .!
AFTERTHOUGHT: If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!
AFTER-AFTERTHOUGHT: This Lieberal/Neutered Puppy Coalition Government is trashing the good standing of Australia. It cares little about its people in its fanatical pursuit of ultra-conservative ideology. It is using the weapons of minority xenophobia, the secret fears and uncertainty of the general public and blatant propaganda, aided by a complaisant media, to turn this country into something is has never been – bigoted, racist, xenophobic, selfish, self-indulgent, self-obsessed, uncaring and a disgrace to all those things that have made Australia a great country! Tolerance, mateship, community, fairness and equity, honesty and a love of freedom in both speech and expression!
POSTSCRIPT: All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics! We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!