Graphical Manipulations #96: Budget Failure, Janus, Monkey Business And Shuttlecocks!


Other duties have forced me away from the keyboard and the usual Graphical Manipulations this week so there’s only a couple of offerings accompanied by a couple of reminiscences from the past.  And it’s been such an interesting week too!

I note that our Prime Winky Dill is very much into Team Australia of late, indicating especially that those who are not with him, his Lieberals and their associated Neutered Puppies, their crackpot policies and politics are not on “The Team”.  Obviously it’s now time to further marginalise and denigrate a large number of Australian voters (as well as various ethnics, the elderly, and the leaners) as not being “Team Players”.  You nasty bunch of nobodies you!!  Well Tone’s you can take your Americanised carpetbagging, ultra conservative politics and your unfair and elitist policies, as well as your team, and shove it in the same place that you would put your suppository of wisdom!

Anyhow, enough of that! Given that the budget implimentation has been such a success this GM from quite a while ago seemed to have become rather pertinent in the current climate;

Angry Budget Prophet

And poor Joe (Eleventy) Hockey severely shot himself in both feet whilst holding them in his mouth that even Tony Abbott had enough intellect not to go there – well at least verbally anyway;

Janus Poor Cars

But you must admit our Supreme Leader certainly excelled himself in commenting on the Scottish bid to untie the apron strings with the crassest piece of gobbledegook on freedom, justice and the American way, hey hey;

Scottish Monkey Business

And for some strange reason shuttlecocks came to mind.  I have no real idea why;

Shuttlecock

And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

AFTERTHOUGHT:  If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

POSTSCRIPT:  All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious.  Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics, al la NO Coalition!  We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

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Graphical Manipulations #95: Spies And Lies, Pensions, ICAC, Links, The Rat And Other Stuff!


So! The Government of the Prime Winky Dill is going to force the Telco’s to keep our metadata for two years (depending of course on the Government’s interpretation of exactly what metadata means – given that they appear to have no idea).  As Joe Public understands it, it’s the mobile, internet and social media information that we spread willy nilly as we trip about playing with our electronic gear.  The grand plan is to keep this stuff for two years rather than a couple of months and, that we the sucker customer will pay for the privilege.  Probably all and sundry who have some sort of official title, and some mediocre excuse will be able to dip into it as much as they like. Well that seems to be the general gist of what we’re being told.

So they’ll know who you called, when you called them and the duration of your conversation as well as how long you spent browsing the internet and where you went while you were there.

And the reason for this deeply darkly, delving into your life?  So that they can stop those nasty little Muslim Jihadists from terrorising the general public with malice aforethought, general brutality and things that go boom!  And while they beat up the fear that we are about to be overrun by these terrorists any second now their ASIO boss David Irvine assures the average Australian that; “This is not some great mass surveillance exercise or mass invasion of the privacy of every citizen in Australia.”  And given the right cock-up that the Government has made of selling its proposed anti-terrorism measures the great majority of the thinking Joe Public’s immediate response is; “Oh yes it bloody is!!” and the YOUR BEING FED MOO POO alarm starts bellowing.

We seem to have enough anti-terrorism and general laws in place now to be able to manage issues of terrorism and it seems to me that this is Big Brother personified.

Anyhow, enough of that and back to the Graphical Manipulations related to the events of the past week.  This little offering from the day calendar seemed to describe most adequately the bright future for our pensioners under the Economic Action Strategy of our illustrious Prime Minister and his Treasurer;

Dog Food Days

The Independent Commission Against Corruption ground its way through more evidence and co-incidentally through a few more politicians and their cohorts;

Wind of ICAC

Along with the ineptness of the Government in selling their terrorism proposals we had our very own Eric Abetz coming up with some new theories that will surely shake the foundations of scientific endeavour;

Linkages Abetz

The Bloody Rat leapt forth to express his joy at Barnaby Joyce’s “no worries” approach to the $700 million loss of exports to Russia following the Prime Winky Dills bold and courageous stance with Russia’s Putin and his “take that you evil man” ban on Australian exports to Russia;

Barnaby Ban Rat

He was impressed by Scott Morrison’s continued determined efforts to stop all those people smugglers from trying to drown asylum seekers coming to the country by boat;

Stop Boats Rat

He couldn’t help but be impressed with ABC730 Sarah Ferguson’s delightful putdown of the irrepressibly, egotistically arrogant Christopher Pyne;

Pyne Ferguson Rat

And finally he was most impressed with Treasurer Joe Hockey’s new Three Word Slogan;

Hockey Slogan Rat

There was a bit of Monkey Business with the announcement that the amendments to the free speech legislation would be unceremoniously dumped with a minimum of ceremony;

Community Abbott

Through the week we were unable to put aside the uncomfortable and uneasy feeling that there was perhaps something just a little nefarious underlying Tony Abbott appearing to act like a leader.  We’re kinda confident that these feelings will probably subside given some time . . . . .  possibly;

Biffo Abbott

And finally the actions of our government gave rise to thoughts of quotes that might be appropriate and we thought of one, but couldn’t remember the last bit of it;

Evil is As Evil Does

And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

AFTERTHOUGHT:  If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

POSTSCRIPT:  All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious.  Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics, al la NO Coalition!  We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

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Graphical Manipulations #94: Jobs, Demonisation, Books, That Bloody Rat, Budgets, Monkeys & Belief


Well all you lefty latte-sipping leaners out there, it’s been a pretty interesting week.  Rumours abound that our nay-saying ‘God it’s the end of the World’ NO Coalition government is moving to get off its regular diet of oppressing the migratory, as well as short-changing, abusing and demonising anyone on less than $77,000 per annum and is now moving (dare we say boldly) forward in the promised, but not yet delivered, job creation area.  Yes indeed!

It has been discovered that the new policy requiring job seekers to make 40 legitimate (non-spamming) applications per month to maintain their unemployment benefits (sorry! DOLE) has created an, in Public Service vernacular, Industry Growth Opportunity.  And, through a little know source this GM has been given access to the very first proof of the impending positional advertisement.  Now there’s a scoop;

Ajudicator Ad

After considering that exciting offer and deciding that the ‘right bastard’ quality might be a bit lacking in GM land we considered opportunities in demonising the less fortunate, and this came to mind;

Lieberal Flagellator

And that led to promises made, and promises of an ephemeral nature and promises that didn’t really get past the verbalisation stage which led, predictably to the remainders section in the local bookstore and this;

Abbot Lying with Confidence

When The Rat saw this weighty tome he just couldn’t resist a comment on verbalisation, especially that of the Prime Ministerial kind;

Speech Deficit Rat

And he let it be known that he was tickled pink when our trustworthy Prime Minister shafted the Tassie Premier with;

Tasmanian Dumped Rat

Then along came Kevin Andrew our soulful and lovelorn Social Services Minister whose attempts to get a tad more loving and a-caring into Australia’s happy families seem to have come a tad, shall we say, derailed;

Love Kev Rat

And just when the mirth was subsiding, who should come along displaying is ineptness with delivering announcements in a timely manner whilst avoiding contradiction, but our very own Treasurer Joe (Eleventy) Hockey with;

Triple A Hockey Rat

After successfully returning The Rat to his cage further consideration was given to Joe’s penchant for covering the big lie with a large amount of bluff and bluster;

Manipulator Hockey

We also saw a little bit of monkey business by the Prime Winky Dill and the Environmental Minister with their announcement of comradely patriotism when announcing their environmental traineeships for the dole.  I seem to remember someone saying; “Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel”.  Oh well;

Environment Monkey Business

And finally, thoughts of that long lost motherland (how depressing), far across the sea, who really doesn’t give a bugger, especially about me!  Which led to;

Shop Sweeper Land

And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

AFTERTHOUGHT:  If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

POSTSCRIPT:  All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious.  Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics, al la NO Coalition!  We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

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Graphical Manipulations #93: Small Steps, Freedom, Books, Ratticisms, Jobs And Monkey Business!


It’s been a bleak and tragic week passed made much worse by blatant brutality, machinations, cover-up and political opportunism. We can only think gently of those who lost loved ones and hope that the lost will requiescat in pace.

Such thoughts led to darker thoughts about dirty secret dealings much closer to home and how easy it is when treating others with contempt to become contemptible in your treatment of others;

Small Steps

And that led to thinking about those who would participate in the perpetration of such deeds;

Intellectual Minnows

Freedom of speech led to thoughts of words, lots of word, and getting them in the right order and that, naturally, led to thoughts of books, well a couple of them anyhow;

Big Joke Hockey Book

And this one;

Innumerate Hockey Book

PS: The respective authorships will be recognisable by the cognoscenti amongst us!

Then that Bloody Rat decided that it was time for a more erudite perspective on froot loopery;

Lanfranchi Rat

On how Rat endeavours to maintain a bipartisan demeanour in his Ratty opinionation about both sides of politics, especially when he dislikes, with venomous viciousness, the so-called Leader of the Opposition;

Shorten Hockey Rat

And Rat just couldn’t go past the revelation about just who is in charge of Australia without making comment;

Mudoch PPP Rat

We couldn’t go past the joke (just a tad manipulated to be Oz relevant) found in our desk calendar and how aptly relevant it was to the job creation fury Australia is currently undergoing under this fantastic government led so perfectly by our very own Prime Winky Dill;

Abbotts Job Creation

There was a bit more Monkey Business;

Morrison Gibberish 2

And of course, a final appearance by our ever alert Tony Abbott;

Says it all Abbott

And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

AFTERTHOUGHT:  If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

POSTSCRIPT:  All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious.  Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics, al la NO Coalition!  We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

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Graphical Manipulations #92: Idiots, Honesty, Lies, The Rat, Lamb Roast, And Other Bits!


Word around the traps, within the Lieberal Party and its associated Neutered Puppies, is that to maintain consistency with the Three Word Slogan (TWS to the cognoscenti) policy, all future speeches will consist solely of three word sentences.  It’s hoped that this overall uniformity will further assist in lulling the swingeing voters into a mind numbing sense of absolute futility and an overwhelming desire to vote conservative (excluding PUPs and other fringe RWP (that’s Right Wing Ponces).

As there is already a TLA (Three Word Acronym for the non-cognoscenti) for the TWS which conflicts with the potential acronym for the three word sentence (TWS for the not so sharp – hence the conflict), an internal competition has begun to come up with an appropriate TLA that does not conflict with the current TWS.  The winner of the competition will be given a FBS (that’s Front Bench Seat) and a PPP (that’s Personally Picked Portfolio).

So let’s try.  Howdy there Leaners.  Great week, eh?  Not much politicking. Parliament House deserted.  Abbott looked good!  Put down Putin.  Looked very patriarchal.  Dismal failure though!  Adage very true.  Can’t polish turds!

Morrison very upset.  Dictionary, thesaurus confiscated.  New policy forbids.  Bookcase will go.  Graphical Manipulation opportunities? Opportunistic moments abounded!  Let’s go there!!

I have a strange suspicion that the Liberal criteria for Senator selection (especially in Queensland) has requirements in it that prospective Senators have an IQ of less than 90 and a small, nasty and narrow mind.  Don’t believe me?  What more proof do you require;

Another Nasty Liberal

Ahhhh! Kathy Jackson, ever the noble fighter for the rights of her beleaguered union brothers and sisters.  Fighting the good fight, and making sure that she looks beautifully manicured (on other people’s money) while doing so;

Jackson Tiger Snake

As we haven’t heard any rumblings about challenges to our Prime Winky Dill, given his atrocious polling, starting one of our own seemed appropriate;

Popular Abbott

Unable to be contained, that Wascally Widdle Wat added a few insights of his own, on Julie Bishop showing her tough, diplomatic ‘foot in mouth’ side;

Bishop Bluff Rat

And Joe (Eleventy) Hockey’s little hissy fit at a recalcitrant @#%^*&@ Senate full of recalcitrant @#%^*&@ non-complaiant @#%^*&@ unrepresentative swill @#%^*&@ Senators

Policy Joe Rat

Was impress with Tony telling Vlad where to get off.  Wonder why he never told us all the right things that Vlad said;

Putin Speaks Rat

Rat was particularly impressed with the potential, possible, maybe, perhaps, perhaps, well, never in living memory, bonus from the repeal of the Great Big Tax;

Shortchanged Rat

At that point we just couldn’t pass by Barnaby Joyce’s claim of $100 lamb legs without a passing some sort of anal, sorry banal, comment;

Global Warming Lamb

We felt a little sorry for Tony’s “Gillard Fate’ in having to deal with an obstreperous and difficult Senate minority – for about a femto-second;

Senate Rain Parade

And that brought about thoughts of all those promises made, and all those promises kept, and;

Redeemer Abbott

At that point, and just for a brief moment, a whiff of religious adage swept in while considering polls with “AS YE SOW, SO SHALL YE REAP!!”, or words to that effect;

Trustworty Tony

And then Rupert Murdoch came a long and rained on everyone’s parade by letting the business community know exactly what he thought of politicians;

Monkey Business Rupert

And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

AFTERTHOUGHT:  If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

POSTSCRIPT:  All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious.  Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics, al la NO Coalition!  We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

 

 

 

 

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Graphical Manipulations #91: Leaners, Solutions, Solutioners, Star Wars, The Rat, Bosses And Pledges


Greetings fellow “Leaners”, mutual imbibers from the public teat of Government largesse.  One hopes that your week was as interestingly lactic as was mine!  We saw the Senate in denial that the week had been farcical.  We saw the Prime Winky Dill in denial that the Senate was a bloody mess with grim premonitions that it will turn into a complete and utter debacle.  We saw several PUPS and the head dog in denial that anything was amiss.  We saw our illustrious govmint in denial that there was anything to deny or that anything was amiss.  All in all a bit of a NO NO week you might say.  But under every every dank dollop of denial there are always the gems of satirical opportunity just awaiting the revelation of the Graphical Manipulator.  So, I present to you, the intelligent readers of this tyro of a blog, my humble, nay kow-towing attempts at capturing in a carefully manipulated graphic image the very essence of the quirky mind melding with the digital into a harmonious expression of the id, the ego and the alter ego all expressed in an outpouring of mental expression!  PS: Many thanks to Scott Morrison for his help with the last sentence.

We saw this little graphic somewhere and felt that while it told a story about the distribution of wealth in this country, it didn’t really tell it all;

Leaner Population

And naturally that led to thoughts about those “Leaning” pensioners and the grand plan (nay Solution) that our illustrious government has for them;

Coalition Solution

That led to thoughts about Final Solutions, variously perpetrated, by various dictatorial perpetrators on various minority groups (appropriately vilified) which led to;

Pick the Diff

We were taken by people who somewhat resemble science fiction film characters confirming the resemblance by making disparaging remarks about climate science and fictionalisation whilst resembling a fictional character in said science fiction;

Jabba Speaks

The Bloody Rat thinking we had stolen a march on climate issues then rampaged in with the Murdoch take on a global disaster that he’ll never get to see with;

AGW Rupert Rat

PS:  No idea where that extra ‘e’ came from but I’m sure there’s a mystical reason for it somewhere.

The Rat then pointed out that Julie Bishop’s foray into the fine are of diplomacy was going pretty well,  if you used the ire of the Chinese as a measure of AAA performance;

Foolish Bishop Rat

Rat was particularly impressed by Scott Morrison’s skills in the art of gobbledegook spoken in Gibberish;

Morrison Gibberish Rat

That Rupert Murdoch certainly knew how to take the measure of a man especially one that does as he’s told, when he’s told;

Principled Abbott Rat

It was felt that stereotyping our Prime Winky Dill would probably be a task well beyond the intellectual capacities of geniuses so he didn’t really have to ask not to be;

Stereotype Abbott Rat

Naturally (after restraining the rat) and considering all that praise of our illustrious ‘well it’s business as usual in the Senate’ Prime Minister in denial, we wondered how his Prime Brain was dealing with the current situation;

Force Majeure Credlin

And that led, ultimately, to pledges by political leaders and the infinite capacity for such people to put their foot regularly in their mouth and talk at the same time;

Pledging Abbott

And there you have it . . . . . . . .!

AFTERTHOUGHT:  If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

POSTSCRIPT:  All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious.  Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics, al la NO Coalition!  We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Graphical Manipulations #90: NO, Money, The Bloody Rat, Whiteboards, Disappearances, Gobbledeish And Swill!


Greetings fellow “Leaners”.  Yep! I’m talking at you!  And how do I know you’re a “leaner”?  Easy, peasy!  Because Joe (Eleventy) Hockey has provided me with the simplest of definitions.  And that is: “Leaner (noun).  A lazy, free-loading, no-good, do-nothing loafer who is in receipt of any form of benefit from Australia’s long-suffering, wonderfully beneficent NO Coalition government.”  That’s the one that has a BIG BUDGET EMERGENCY and a PROBLEM WITH LYING.

Such “Leaning” people are particularly epitomised by the elderly self-indulgent pensioner, the greedy student, the disabled, the young unemployed with delusions of living a fruitful life, parents who want government benefits for their children including a quality education and finally wimpy sicko’s who have the nerve to desire medical treatment.  The gall of these people is beyond belief!

I’m advised that the list is not yet finalised since the present definition may, incorrectly, include those who should, by virtue of their pro-NO Coalition tendencies and high incomes, be more appropriately classified as “Lifters”.  Rumour is that the difference between “Leaners” and “Lifters” is to be determined by whether you use a tax minimisation accountant to do your returns, or not!

There’s also an uncomfortable feeling that there’s something missing from the L and L appellation, and that’s and extra L word.  After much thought, particularly about politicians, I suspect that that word is Lamprey!  “Leaners, Lifters, Lampreys!” has such a nice ring to it when you consider that;  ‘Lampreys are an order of jawlessfish, the adult of which is characterized by a toothed, funnel-like sucking mouth.  Currently there are about 38 known species of lampreys.  Although they are well known for boring into the flesh of other fish to suck their blood, in fact only a minority (of political disclination) do so; only 18 species of lampreys are actually parasitic.  The lampreys are a very ancient lineage of vertebrates, though their exact relationship to hagfishes, jawed vertebrates and homo sapiens is still a matter of conjecture.’

Enough now of the diatribe, better to return to the Graphical Manipulation objectives thereby avoiding further angst.  Pleased we were to see the Apple I-phone get into the act of active NO Coalition disparagement with;

Appleated

That asylum seekers had much more to consider than just their unfortunate circumstances;

Asylum Considerations

And that That pesky bloody Rat was ever ready to put his perspective on the weeks events with regard to jihadists;

Hiding Jihadists Rat

Criminal law regimes in other countries;

New Ideas Rat

That one of our new Senators has a particular view of our own Prime Winky Dill that’s not largely at variance with the rest of the population;

Psychopath Rat

And that despite all the revelations and realisations that there were actually people in this wide brown land for some 40,000 years they were a pretty unsettled lot;

Terra Nullius Rat

Who thought that if the current government could put as much effort into running the country as they put into propaganda machines, we’d be going gangbusters;

Propaganda Rat

And finally that independent and innovative thinking was not yet entirely dead in the Australian historical retrospective;

HOCS Rat

Regardless of the Rat, we wondered how the Joe (Eleventy) Hockey realised his dream of the appropriate THREE WORD SLOGAN;

The Whiteboard

The processes behind making lots of asylum seekers and their boats disappear, not necessarily from the naval radar, but certainly from the perception of the Aussie voter;

Disappearances

How one could best emulate obfuscatory linguistic manipulative lexiconical verbalisation with half-pike and twist;

Gobbledeish

And of what happens when Paul Keating’s Senate disease sporulates and infects the House of Representatives;

Unrepresentative Swill

And there you have it  . . . . . . !

AFTERTHOUGHT:  If you don’t punish politicians and their parties for lying to you, you are predetermining your treatment as a fool!

POSTSCRIPT:  All characters appearing in this work are entirely, and amazingly, fictitious.  Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or in a zombie like state, is purely coincidental with an exceptionally high probability of being the construct of a deluded mind trying to grasp the true meaning of the political unreality of Australian politics, al la NO Coalition!  We can only gaze upon such greatness with wonderment!

 

 

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