Graphical Manipulations # 45: Trains, Dogs, Numerical Lies, Rats, Slogans And Gods!

Well the Ruddstoration appears to have shifted the polls and they now show (depending who your most believable pollster is) that Labor is leading, is even and/or the NO Coaltion is losing, is even.  Me I prefer Morgan as I think that they have a polling methodology that captures a more representative view.  But that’s just me!  Feel free to believe the NEWS Ltd’s propagandapoll (aka Newspoll) should you so desire!

The NO Coalition is sounding increasingly nervous and determined to outdo Kevin Rudd in any proclamation he makes, no matter how silly.  The absolute doozy for the week has to be OPERATION SOVEREIGN BORDERS with accompanying asides that the Indonesians don’t mean what they say and they’ll be quite happy to take the TURNED BACK BOATS.  And now the NO Coalition advises that they’ll keep Ruddy’s THE PNG SOLUTION, especially if it works! Chortle, chortle!  We’ll get back to OPERATION SOVERIGN BORDERS a little later but first to other significant thought bubbles, like polls!

With the Ruddtrain back on the track and the election light at the end of the tunnel looming this came to mind;

And naturally when you think of elections you think that in order to deliberate on who might best govern the country for a bit you’d like to see a bit of policy wonking.  But no!  Carefully hidden behind THREE WORD SLOGANS the NO Coalition continues to HIDE ITS POLICIES, and that led to this;

Dogs lead naturally to that adage; I hate the term ‘old adage’, it’s a redundancy much like ‘chicken yakitori’ which is equivalent to grilled chicken, chicken; ‘never perform with animals or children’ and the piccy of Phoney Tony Abbott doing just that, gave rise to this:

Naturally Joe Hockey (aka Mr Eleventy) made his appearance during the week presenting his little bombastic homilies bombastically and that, of course, made me wonder whether ‘he who aspires to the Treasurer’s seat’ is taking any courses in mathematics and calculator skills.  He appears lately to have acquired a smirk reminiscent of one Peter Costello.  Borrowed or learnt I wonder?  I was particularly impressed when our ‘would be’ Treasurer proceeded to tell Treasury that they were a bunch of drongo’s which included being complete budget illiterates.  Two things came from that: Joe was at his thoughtlessly bombastic best, and; if I was in Treasury I’d be spending a bit of time perusing the Situations Vacant sections while the computers where calculating the next set of budget numbers.  And seeing that it’s all about numbers (budgetary, too many people, exchange rates, etc) such thoughts led to:

And seeing that all our politicians have this natural tendency to TELL LITTLE LIES, I thought that I might get into the act as well with this;

And thankfully, while I was at a mental block point on what to say or graphically manipulate next, that little charmer, The Rat, came back with a snide dig at the Hanrahan’s amongst us;

And about those little lies that we had been contemplating earlier;

And now we come to the NO Coalition’s ‘there’s no way we’ll be outdone on extremisms by those bloody Labor bastards’ solution to Labor’s, THE PNG SOLUTION, OPERATION SOVEREIGN BORDERS!!  WOW!  Tremble and quake with fear oh little refugees on tiny boats as the awful might and power of the three word slogan strikes you down, turns you back and ships you to Papua New Guinea! So there was this;

I must admit that was rather impressed by the NO Coalition’s military advisor, retired Major-General Jim Molan.  Apparently it was he who recommended the NO Coalition’s initial position that tanks be sent into Afghanistan to fight an insurgency no less!  Umm, I think you’ll find Jim, a lot of burnt out Russian tanks in Afghanistan left over from when they tried that bright idea!  Anyhow Jim asserted with military gravitas that OPERATION SOVEREIGN BORDERS would; ‘be militarily led, but was not a military operation, and would include military command in the field using military terminology but was not a military operation’.  Well that’s clear enough then!  Militarily, this operation will not be militarised except for where it has been militarised!  So there!

Molans when on to say that its purpose (non military of course) was to; ‘disrupt, deter, detain, intercept, transfer, assess, return, remove, and resettle, humanely, legally, and often with great courage.’  Abso bloomin lootly I say!  You may laugh but as an old Public Servant I can only say that Jim has excelled himself in a meaningless alliteration that would have Sir Humphrey Appleby giving of the most fulsome praise at his verbal dexterity!

Such verbiose double talk led to some confusion and to:

NB to NO Coalition:  Psst! Jim’s better at this than Scott Morrison!

All in all the whole farcical attempt at one-upsmanship became all too;

And with a last attempt at retaining any sanity after Jim’s incoherency, a call on the mercy of the God’s resulted in this;

Which left me heading in the direction of a straw-coloured alcoholic beverage of, oh, about 90 proof!

 

And so there we have it!  Leaving you with the not so usual postscript . . . . . . !

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